What To Do (or Not Do) In Your First Encounter...So You Don't Blow It!

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

There's a lot of advice suggesting people need to be brave enough to speak first with someone they find cute and interesting.

Not a clever idea. Why is that?

Because you don't know if the person you've approached is really interested in YOU! They may just be acting polite.

So how can you tell if someone you find interesting is interested in you?

1. Signal the One You Want by Looking in Their Eyes and Smiling for FIVE Seconds

Yes, I know this is tough. But it's important! You need to signal the one you're interested in by getting in their eyeballs and holding the look long enough to see if they're interested, available or safe.

Eyes are the windows to the soul.

Generally people who approach others without being signaled are drunk or nerds. So signal the one you want by smiling for five seconds. Three seconds is polite; Four isn't enough; Five gets attention.

(If your lip gets stuck on your tooth or the saliva in your mouth falls to your armpits while smiling, don't panic. It's normal.)

2. Understand the Power of Speaking First

Very often a woman will start a conversation with a man she's interested in and then feel disappointed when he doesn't ask for her phone number. There's a reason for that.

If a woman speaks first, the man will respect her. He'll think, "God, she's brave. She spoke first. I can relax. I can sit back while she does all the work."

Ladies, speaking first establishes you to be the primary initiator and sets up you chasing him.

3. There Are NO Bad Pick-Up Lines

Whoever speaks first is the leader. Gentlemen, if you want to earn a woman's respect, be brave enough to approach her and say SOMETHING. Anything. Whatever. It doesn't matter how stupid you sound.

There are No bad pick-up lines when you've been signaled and are courageous enough to walk across the room.

You don't have to be clever. Be yourself. The simpler, the better. Say something like "hello" and introduce yourself.

4. Follow The Leader

Ladies, if someone you've signaled approaches you and speaks, be open and receptive to what he's saying.

Ignore his awkwardness and follow his lead. Listen and let him present. Let him impress you with his qualifications, not the other way around. Answer a man's questions simply and respectfully. You don't need to perform.

5. If You're The Leader, Ask For What You Want!

Gentlemen, if you meet a lady and you want her number, offer her a plan and ask how she feels about it. It could be as simple as "I'd like to take you for coffee. How do you feel about it?" If she's receptive, then ask for her number and see if she's comfortable giving it to you.

Whatever you do...Don't give her your card and ask her to call! She probably WON'T.

Ladies, if a man you're interested in gives you his card and you want him to call...Turn the card over, write your number (or e-mail) and hand it back to him. (If you're not interested, take his card and simply say, "thank you".)