by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"
Before every audition, an actor prepares.
Before meeting with an agent or a director, he submits a headshot and resume.
Before the meeting, the agent/director will determine if the actor will be called in...or end up in the trash.
The same is true in dating.
The headshot and resume on your dating profile make your first impression. Often it determines if someone will meet you or delete you.
On-line dating resumes publicize what you want to attract, but most people don't know how to market effectively.
Even if you're not auditioning on-line, a dating resume gives you a chance to uniquely define your role and what you're looking for.
Five directions to keep in mind when scripting your dating profile:
1. DO Have a Fantastic Headshot
The Wall Street Journal reported that 30% of people dating on-line don't post photos! Without a photo, you have the least likely chance of meeting someone.
Take a good professional photo and use it!
DO NOT use a dark photo with your friends (or your ex) at some party where you look like you've had a few too many and there's a palm tree growing out of your head!
2. DO Create Your Own Character
Use Vivid, Bold descriptions! Make every word count.
Marketing your long slender legs, milky skin, deep sea-green eyes and million dollar smile gets attention.
Creating a character separates you from the masses!
3. DON'T List All the Qualifications For Your Co-Star
Telling us your mate must be gorgeous, intelligent, wealthy, sexy, healthy, romantic, sensitive, spiritual, charismatic, well-mannered, potty trained, and a non-smoker is waaayyy too much!
Limit yourself to three NON-NEGOTIABLES that are definable, attainable and communicable.
4. DON'T Lead With Your Worst Lines
Letting us know that your ex is an alcholic or you've only dated self-absorbed jerks in the past so you don't want any more of "those people" responding isn't your best introduction.
Please...save it for later...much later...if at all!
(This seems obvious, but you wouldn't believe the number of resumes I've read with this kind of info!)
5. DO Proof Your Profile
Read your resume for spelling and grammer. Expecially if you want to be takin serriously! :-)
For more dating techniques and to learn what to do and say in your relationship (so you don't blow it)...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
How to Direct Your Life
by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"
Last summer, I re-directed my life.
After my husband and I moved to Marina del Rey, I took time off from work to percolate. I attended Interior Design School. I did home projects...decorating, cooking, entertaining. (I painted most of the walls in our house and became quite a little handy woman in the process...FYI :))
Finally, wanting to feel more productive, I decided to get my masters degree in psychology and enrolled at Antioch University.
Then I read a book called "The Four Hour Work Week" by Timothy Ferris and my life changed.
Ferris has a system on how to prioritize your life. (I am really going to paraphrase here. Ferris' description is much more detailed than what I'm sharing with you.)
But, in general, this is a simple exercise with very big impact. You can use this exercise to direct your life...anyway you want. Forever!
1. List Everything You Want to Be, Have and Do
Everything. Everything you think is important or want to do in this life, write it down. Even things you don't think are possible, but you'd like to have or be or experience. Put them all down on paper.
This will take some time. At first great things start coming to you, like traveling around the world; owning your own yacht; speaking Japanese fluently; having a fabulous romantic relationship, etc.
Then you'll ponder and mull in your sleep. You'll think of more. It's all good. Write it down.
And once you think your list is complete...
2. Edit Your List to the Top FOUR Priorities
This is a little tougher. You really have to think about what's important. What do you really want to be? What do you really want to have? What do you really want to spend your time doing?
(That's what this exercise is really about. How you really want to spend your time in life.)
I edited my list: Get a masters in psychology. Complete design school. Visit family. Redo the bathroom.
I looked at my list. I didn't feel excited.
These were all good things. Seeing family. Learning. Building.
These were things I could do or should do...but they didn't inspire or motivate me to want to do.
3. Each Priority MUST Inspire & Motivate You!
You must really get excited and charged when you think about these four things! They must make you want to get up in the morning! They must stimulate your energy and creativity!
My list bored the hell out of me.
So I threw it out and started over.
I listed things I really wanted to do in life. Despite what anyone thought. Despite the "shoulds" in my head.
I wrote: Go to water ski camp. Paint the bedroom. Vacation with my husband on a tropical island. Write an on-line newsletter. Speak French fluently. Italian, too. Visit South America.
Then I narrowed my list down to the Top Four.
And I realized...Psychology school wasn't even on my list. Didn't even come in my head as I was writing. Not once!
(Wow. Guess who didn't go to Psychology class the next day?)
4. Complete the Top Four Priorities Within the Next 3-6 Months
If one of your goals is too general or not obtainable within 3-6 months, break it down.
If speaking French fluently was a priority, I would have enrolled in a French class and started learning. (French didn't make it into my Top 4.)
Let's say you want a romantic relationship. What can you do to move yourself towards that goal within three months? Something you're not already doing now. You could: Join an organization to meet new people. Practice flirting five minutes a day. Learn more about yourself and who you want to be (and attract) in a relationship.
The goal must stretch you. It must take you out of your comfort zone. It must extend you past your normal routine and inspire you towards the big goal.
And the first step must be attainable within 3-6 months.
5. Re-Evaluate Your List Every 3-6 Months
Do you remember your New Year's Resolutions? I don't. (And if I did, I probably didn't do them.)
Re-evaluating your Top Priorities every 3-6 months not only gives you clarity...it gives you flexibility. And the ability to accomplish what's really important to you without a lot of distraction.
And it allows you to change your mind. If after three months, you stop feeling inspired, do something else. Make a new list.
When I'm asked to do something that doesn't align with my Top Four priorities, I tell people to get back with me on a certain date because for now, my plate is full!
Next time you're overwhelmed with "to dos," list your priorities, eliminate the "shoulds" and go forth inspired...(for at least three months!)
Last summer, I re-directed my life.
After my husband and I moved to Marina del Rey, I took time off from work to percolate. I attended Interior Design School. I did home projects...decorating, cooking, entertaining. (I painted most of the walls in our house and became quite a little handy woman in the process...FYI :))
Finally, wanting to feel more productive, I decided to get my masters degree in psychology and enrolled at Antioch University.
Then I read a book called "The Four Hour Work Week" by Timothy Ferris and my life changed.
Ferris has a system on how to prioritize your life. (I am really going to paraphrase here. Ferris' description is much more detailed than what I'm sharing with you.)
But, in general, this is a simple exercise with very big impact. You can use this exercise to direct your life...anyway you want. Forever!
1. List Everything You Want to Be, Have and Do
Everything. Everything you think is important or want to do in this life, write it down. Even things you don't think are possible, but you'd like to have or be or experience. Put them all down on paper.
This will take some time. At first great things start coming to you, like traveling around the world; owning your own yacht; speaking Japanese fluently; having a fabulous romantic relationship, etc.
Then you'll ponder and mull in your sleep. You'll think of more. It's all good. Write it down.
And once you think your list is complete...
2. Edit Your List to the Top FOUR Priorities
This is a little tougher. You really have to think about what's important. What do you really want to be? What do you really want to have? What do you really want to spend your time doing?
(That's what this exercise is really about. How you really want to spend your time in life.)
I edited my list: Get a masters in psychology. Complete design school. Visit family. Redo the bathroom.
I looked at my list. I didn't feel excited.
These were all good things. Seeing family. Learning. Building.
These were things I could do or should do...but they didn't inspire or motivate me to want to do.
3. Each Priority MUST Inspire & Motivate You!
You must really get excited and charged when you think about these four things! They must make you want to get up in the morning! They must stimulate your energy and creativity!
My list bored the hell out of me.
So I threw it out and started over.
I listed things I really wanted to do in life. Despite what anyone thought. Despite the "shoulds" in my head.
I wrote: Go to water ski camp. Paint the bedroom. Vacation with my husband on a tropical island. Write an on-line newsletter. Speak French fluently. Italian, too. Visit South America.
Then I narrowed my list down to the Top Four.
And I realized...Psychology school wasn't even on my list. Didn't even come in my head as I was writing. Not once!
(Wow. Guess who didn't go to Psychology class the next day?)
4. Complete the Top Four Priorities Within the Next 3-6 Months
If one of your goals is too general or not obtainable within 3-6 months, break it down.
If speaking French fluently was a priority, I would have enrolled in a French class and started learning. (French didn't make it into my Top 4.)
Let's say you want a romantic relationship. What can you do to move yourself towards that goal within three months? Something you're not already doing now. You could: Join an organization to meet new people. Practice flirting five minutes a day. Learn more about yourself and who you want to be (and attract) in a relationship.
The goal must stretch you. It must take you out of your comfort zone. It must extend you past your normal routine and inspire you towards the big goal.
And the first step must be attainable within 3-6 months.
5. Re-Evaluate Your List Every 3-6 Months
Do you remember your New Year's Resolutions? I don't. (And if I did, I probably didn't do them.)
Re-evaluating your Top Priorities every 3-6 months not only gives you clarity...it gives you flexibility. And the ability to accomplish what's really important to you without a lot of distraction.
And it allows you to change your mind. If after three months, you stop feeling inspired, do something else. Make a new list.
When I'm asked to do something that doesn't align with my Top Four priorities, I tell people to get back with me on a certain date because for now, my plate is full!
Next time you're overwhelmed with "to dos," list your priorities, eliminate the "shoulds" and go forth inspired...(for at least three months!)
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