by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"
Tom puts his arm around Sandra as they walk to her door. Wanting the date to continue, Sandra invites Tom inside for coffee. He readily agrees.
Once inside, the coffee's forgotten as Sandra and Tom kiss on the sofa. Juices are flowing and the chemistry is hot.
Tom moves his hand up Sandra's skirt, slides up her thigh. Sandra gently pushes his hand away.
Tom kisses her again, moving his hand to her breast.
Sandra makes a weak attempt to remove it.
Tom nuzzles into Sandra's neck and whispers, "Let's go to your bedroom."
Uh oh. What's Sandra gonna do?
Does she go for it and risk Tom thinking she's a one-night stand? Or does she say "no" and risk Tom thinking she's a tease?
How does Sandra set the stage for sex in this new relationship?
By talking about it.
In my opinion, there's only one hard and fast direction around when to have sex. That is: When you know the plan.
If you want a one-night stand or a brief affair and your partner is in agreement, go for it. You're both on the same page.
If you want a long-term romance and your partner wants an affair, stop! You're incompatible.
Sandra needs to tell Tom how she feels so feelings aren't hurt and agendas aren't mixed.
Let's say Sandra wants a relationship. What exactly does that mean? How can she communicate to Tom what she wants?
By telling him she wants Longevity, Continuity and Exclusivity to feel safe before having sex. She must have all three. One or two simply ain't good enough!
Longevity: What is the long-term plan? If you want to be married, does your partner want the same thing? This doesn't mean you'll end up marrying each other, but at least you'll know if you're moving in the same direction.
Continuity: How often do you plan to see each other? Once a week? Twice a week? Monthly? If you're long distance, how often will you visit?
Monogamy: This means social as well as sexual monogamy. It's a wonderful thing to have a sexual commitment. It's also a good idea to contract the social monogamy so your partner's not back on line looking for another deal!
It's valuable for two people who want a long-term, romantic relationship to allow the friendship to grow as long as possible. The best romance is between the ears. Anticipation during courtship can be so delicious! Once a couple enters into a sexual relationship the dynamics shift. So enjoy the foreplay!
In my opinion, the longer you wait to consummate sex, the deeper the feelings of love making. If you can resist until the third or fourth month, you'll have a much better idea of whom you're in a relationship with.
For more dating techniques and to learn what to do and say in your relationship (so you don't blow it)...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!
Monday, August 25, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
Making an Entrance: The Power of Presentation
by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"
I fluffed my hair, dabbed my lipstick and gave myself one last check in the mirror. Then I took a deep breath.
I opened the door.
And there he stood...
Tall, Dark and Dirty.
Seriously. He was filthy. His clothes weren't washed. There was dirt underneath his fingernails and he smelled bad.
I couldn't believe this man had showed up like this for our date.
Our first meeting and he knocks at my door unbathed!
He was an electrician and he came to pick me up directly from work. (We were meeting for the first time through a dating agency.)
Before he could open his mouth...I knew this man was most definitely NOT MY MAN!
Before he could speak, I cast him in the role of "Loser".
I couldn't hear a thing he said....
Because it was over. In the first three seconds as he stood at my door, it was over. Done.
No matter what you think...Presentation is important.
People make an impression of you in the first three seconds of seeing you.
How you look, how you act and how you speak can set the stage for your relationship (or lack of a relationship) from here to eternity.
My date made a memorable entrance...but not a favorable one.
Here are three directions on how to make a favorable entrance to attract the man you want:
1. Dress the Part
Do you look your best? Are you clean? Do you smell good? How's your hair and make-up?
Does what you're wearing fit you? Is it the right color? Does it flatter your body?
If it doesn't, you're not dressing your part. You can't possibly expect to attract a really great guy if you don't look good.
Dress your best. Wear something soft. Wear something touchable. Wear something that shows off your figure.
If you're dressing to attract the attention of a man, be sure you're giving him something he'd like to see.
And put a smile on your lips and sway your hips! Because, baby, he also likes how you move!
2. Act the Part
Are you courteous? Are you timely? Are you rude?
Do you tell him what to do? Or do you let him lead?
Do you ask for his number? Or wait for him to want to call you?
Do you impress him with your accomplishments or respect his first? (HELLO! If you're respecting each other's accomplishments, you're two men at work...you're not on a date!)
If you want to attract a man, you want him to like how you act.
That means being on time. Listening to what he has to say. Smiling when he says something amusing.
Act as if you enjoy being with him and that he interests you. (Even if he doesn't interest you, it's good practice!)
Knowing how to act your part is part of being in a relationship. And that (as far as I know) will never change.
3. Speak the Part
Do you talk too much? Are you critical? Do you judge?
Do you say "Yes" to his ideas? "Thank you" to his compliments? Or "Please" to what he offers?
And when it's uncomfortable can you really say "No"? (And mean it?)
You must know how to speak to your partner. How to respect him. How to build with him. How to negotiate and communicate with him.
I don't have to remind you how different we are. How men's and women's brains are different. How we speak and communicate so differently.
As a woman, it's in your best interest to understand a man's language and how he takes in information so that when you speak, he hears you and understands you.
In a romantic relationship it will serve you to know how to speak to your man.
So next time you Make an Entrance to Meet a New Man remember...how you dress, how you act and how you speak...can determine the success (or lack of success) in your relationship.
If you want to better understand what you're doing and how to shift to get better results...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!
I fluffed my hair, dabbed my lipstick and gave myself one last check in the mirror. Then I took a deep breath.
I opened the door.
And there he stood...
Tall, Dark and Dirty.
Seriously. He was filthy. His clothes weren't washed. There was dirt underneath his fingernails and he smelled bad.
I couldn't believe this man had showed up like this for our date.
Our first meeting and he knocks at my door unbathed!
He was an electrician and he came to pick me up directly from work. (We were meeting for the first time through a dating agency.)
Before he could open his mouth...I knew this man was most definitely NOT MY MAN!
Before he could speak, I cast him in the role of "Loser".
I couldn't hear a thing he said....
Because it was over. In the first three seconds as he stood at my door, it was over. Done.
No matter what you think...Presentation is important.
People make an impression of you in the first three seconds of seeing you.
How you look, how you act and how you speak can set the stage for your relationship (or lack of a relationship) from here to eternity.
My date made a memorable entrance...but not a favorable one.
Here are three directions on how to make a favorable entrance to attract the man you want:
1. Dress the Part
Do you look your best? Are you clean? Do you smell good? How's your hair and make-up?
Does what you're wearing fit you? Is it the right color? Does it flatter your body?
If it doesn't, you're not dressing your part. You can't possibly expect to attract a really great guy if you don't look good.
Dress your best. Wear something soft. Wear something touchable. Wear something that shows off your figure.
If you're dressing to attract the attention of a man, be sure you're giving him something he'd like to see.
And put a smile on your lips and sway your hips! Because, baby, he also likes how you move!
2. Act the Part
Are you courteous? Are you timely? Are you rude?
Do you tell him what to do? Or do you let him lead?
Do you ask for his number? Or wait for him to want to call you?
Do you impress him with your accomplishments or respect his first? (HELLO! If you're respecting each other's accomplishments, you're two men at work...you're not on a date!)
If you want to attract a man, you want him to like how you act.
That means being on time. Listening to what he has to say. Smiling when he says something amusing.
Act as if you enjoy being with him and that he interests you. (Even if he doesn't interest you, it's good practice!)
Knowing how to act your part is part of being in a relationship. And that (as far as I know) will never change.
3. Speak the Part
Do you talk too much? Are you critical? Do you judge?
Do you say "Yes" to his ideas? "Thank you" to his compliments? Or "Please" to what he offers?
And when it's uncomfortable can you really say "No"? (And mean it?)
You must know how to speak to your partner. How to respect him. How to build with him. How to negotiate and communicate with him.
I don't have to remind you how different we are. How men's and women's brains are different. How we speak and communicate so differently.
As a woman, it's in your best interest to understand a man's language and how he takes in information so that when you speak, he hears you and understands you.
In a romantic relationship it will serve you to know how to speak to your man.
So next time you Make an Entrance to Meet a New Man remember...how you dress, how you act and how you speak...can determine the success (or lack of success) in your relationship.
If you want to better understand what you're doing and how to shift to get better results...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!
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