The Dating Director: Love Life & Looking Good

Can You Be Femnine at Work?

2009-03-29T10:12:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Hollywood Dating Director"

I've been bombarded lately with articles and seminars on how women can be more feminine in the workplace.

This cracks me up!

Why?

Because work by nature requires a masculine skill set. Period. When you work, you produce. You're active. You're doing. You're accomplishing things. That's what work is.

When you're feminine, it's all about how you feel. You feel good to do good. Yes, you might feel good wearing sexy stilettos and a tight skirt on the job...but that doesn't automatically make you feminine.

So can you feel good to do good in the workplace?

Maybe.

Usually at work you have to meet deadlines, make sales calls or close deals in order to get your paycheck.

Feeling good at work over getting your job done will most likely get you fired or put you right out of business!

Years ago, I decided to run my business as a feminine woman. (After all, I'm in the business of teaching the art of femininity.) And guess what? I went out of business. Very quickly I might add!

If I didn't feel like it, I didn't work. I didn't give myself deadlines. I didn't produce. And within a few months, I didn't have a business.

So the question becomes "Can you be MORE feminine at work?"

The answer is Yes. Absolutely. You can.

1. Look Good

You can dress well. You can wear form fitting clothes, a nice skirt, heels and make-up. You can dress like a lady and you will be noticed.

And being noticed can make you feel really good. Especially when compliments are coming your way!

Presenting like a feminine woman goes a long way at work and in your romance.

But...you already know this.

2. Speak Respectfully

How you communicate with a man can have him collaborating with you or competing with you.

When you know the art of "man speak" at work, you will find men cheering you, championing you and doing their best to keep you happy so you'll stay on their team.

A colleague of mine works at a prestigious Chicago law firm. She uses dialogue she learned in The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story at work. Do you think the lawyers in her firm appreciate how respectful she is? You bet they do. They adore her!

Do you think she feels appreciated by the men she works with? Oh yes.

3. Turn a Business Deal into a Date

If you work with men, you have an incredible opportunity to audition and present. And if you know how (and when) to flirt appropriately, you can easily and gracefully turn a business deal into a date.

This is a great way to use your femininity in the work place. As a woman, your brain can go from business to pleasure in an instant.

So when you catch that cute guy by the water cooler or at the lunch table, use your feminine ingenuity. This way he'll see more than your business mind...he'll see your sensual, playful side as well.

And you never know where that can lead. :)

If you want more ideas and examples of how you can speak your part to attract your romantic co-star, order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course.

Everything you need to know about having the romantic relationship you want is there and more! Order your copy today!

What's Your Story?

2009-03-29T10:06:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Hollywood Dating Director"

I felt a little guilty.

True, I needed to put things in place after having the furniture removed for three weeks while our floors were being replaced (due to water damage), but I could have just put everything back the way it was...or had the moving company do it.

Instead, I decided to recreate and redesign our space. I decided to rearrange book shelves and de-clutter closets while everything was still in boxes.

And I felt a little guilty.

It was easy to think of every other thing I could be doing (returning phone calls, e-mails or working on my business) instead of sorting candlesticks and flower vases.

But for me, this was important.

After all, I am an Ingenue.

And Ingenues need to feel good before doing good. And I didn't feel good about having my home out of order. It was noise in my head. It messed with my peace.

I needed to set the stage so our home and my business can work under one roof. I don't want it messy. I want it nice. And I want my own space. Of this I am certain.

(Virginia Woolf was right.)

So in order to feel good to do good at home and in my office, my stage must be in order. And my story must be straight.

And so does yours. Because your home tells the story of who it is you are.

If you want to create (or re-create) the reality of your life look at your home. Look at what is around you and ask yourself...

1. What Is My Story?

Your home tells your story. Every item in your house has energy. Some of it's old. Some of it's memorable. Some of it is worth giving up so you can move out of your past and into your future.

What do your things say about you? What story do they tell about your life?

What's on your bookshelves? Who's in your photos? Your ex? Old friends? Other people's children?

As I was rearranging, I found wedding gifts from my first marriage 25 years ago. Guess what? They're gone. Well most of them. (I had to keep an antique wooden refrigerator...) (What? I picked it out.)

Is there something in your house that doesn't work for the story you want to tell about yourself? If so, remove it. Replace it with an image (or an item) that takes you where you want to be (and with whom you want to be).

2. Where's My Drama?

Where's the "WOW" factor? Where's the fun? Where's the surprise?

Your home can reflect the fun, passionate, creative side of you, so don't be shy!

My bedroom office used to be a dark, unimaginative, uncreative space. It basically functioned with a desk, a computer, fax, phone, etc.

The room was filled with past mementos, uninspired images and old furniture...

Until I got creative.

I turned my office into a theatre. Complete with red curtains, a prop closet, an art department and a rehearsal space. Now it's a fun place to work. I'm surrounded with fun, inspiring accessories!

So where's the drama in your home? What unexpected and fun surprises can we find there?

Maybe you have an unusual collection of games. Or unusual travel souvenirs. Or an unusual room arrangement like swapping your living room with your dining area. You get the idea. :)

And don't forget the "WOW" factor with food and entertaining! If a man you like comes to visit, what's in your fridge? Or say you want to throw an impromptu fete for a few close friends...how will you present?

If you want more ideas and examples of how you can set the stage for love and attract your romantic co-star, order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course.

Everything you need to know about having the romantic relationship you want it there and more! Order your copy today!

The Final Curtain...How to Know When It's REALLY Over!

2009-03-04T09:42:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

Cindy and Sam have been dating for two years.

Cindy wants an engagement ring and a wedding date.

Sam wants to keep things as they are...casual dating.

When Cindy confronted Sam about his long-term plan for them, Sam told her he wasn't interested in marriage. He is, however, still interested in dating her.

Cindy and Sam are incompatible.

Sadly, Cindy broke up with Sam.

Sam still calls Cindy, wanting to remain friends.

Cindy now questions if her relationship with Sam is REALLY over.

Often in a relationship, the final curtain is a break-up and not a marriage. But how do you know when your relationship is REALLY over?

1. You Are Incompatible

When you and your partner are not able to reach an agreement for a long-term plan, you're done.

Without a long-term agreement...there is no future.

I'm a big advocate for people staying in relationships for as long as possible. If you leave a relationship too early and don't get the lesson, you can bet you'll attract the exact same thing in the next relationship you enter.

However, if you and your partner are incompatible in your style of relationship and where you want to go together...it's REALLY over.

In Cindy's situation, her relationship with Sam is REALLY over.

2. The Relationship is Making You Sick

If you're getting sick, it's time to leave.

Or if your partner is violent and abusive...time to go!

If you need to call a cop a doctor or a lawyer...it's over.

Get out ASAP!

No relationship is worth sacrificing your health and your body. REALLY!

3. You Only Feel Apathy and Empathy

If you have no charge...

If you feel sorry for the poor bastard...

Or could care less what he does or does not do...

Or watching him chew turns your stomach...

It's over. You're done. REALLY. Move on.

4. He Wants to Remain Friends

Classic. He doesn't want you...but he doesn't want anyone else to have you either!

You cannot be friends with your lover until you both have new lovers first!

Why is that?

Because every time you see him, smell him or hear the sound of his voice, your body chemicals kick in and keep you physically glued!

No one else will look good to you. It will take you sooooo much longer to recover!

So unless you have children together or a business or some other endeavor that forces you to see each other, do your best to stay apart until your heart is healed!

Got it? Good.

Everything you need to know about having the romantic relationship you desire and much, much more is in The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course. Order your copy today!

He's Just Not That Into You...Now What?

2009-02-15T15:08:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Hollywood Dating Director"

It doesn't take a brain surgeon to diagnosis if a man isn't calling you...he's probably not into you.

In the romantic comedy, "He's Just Not That Into You", a film based on Greg Behrendt's popular self-help book, a gorgeous ensemble in various stages of relationships quest to find true love.

Although the film is fun to watch, it doesn't give you much tangible dating advice.

Like, if he's not into you...then what?

Or if he WAS into you but now he's not...what happened?

Or can you get him into you...and if so, how?

Here are three ideas:

1. If He's Not Into You...Then What?

Move on.

Like the book says...if he's not into you...don't waste your time.

Meaning if he's not calling, he's not pursuing, he's not inviting you out...you're on to "next"!

This is easier said than done.

Often you can't help replaying the date (or the relationship) over and over and over again in your head trying to analyze and figure out what happened and WHY isn't he into you. Especially when he acted so nice!

It's maddening.

Don't take it personally. Because it's not. He can't help who his body chooses.

Brush yourself off, go back out there and find someone who is into you!

2. He WAS Into You, but Now He's Not...What Happened?

If he was into you but now he's acting distant...

And calling you less...

And only inviting you over for a little late night booty...

Chances are something did happen.

Was it something you said? Maybe.

Was it something you did? Maybe.

My guess is if he was into you and now he's not...one of two things happened:

First, the guy pulled a "bait and switch". He baited you with compliments and attention, got you all sexually bonded and feeling good...then "switched" by stopping his pursuit and now sits back waiting for you to call to invite him over and basically do all the work.

(This is not a good guy...move on!)

Second, you started going competitive with him. You started making plans. You started taking over. You became the better man and he may have felt he couldn't offer you anything. And what he was giving you was not appreciated.

This is a good guy.

If you are dating a guy like this right now this minute, practice saying, "yes, thank you, please..." for everything he does for you. Everything!

3. Can You Get Him Into You? If So, How?

Maybe.

If you don't turn him on sexually...probably not.

If you do turn him on, you can guide him to be REALLY into you...if you know how! :)

You can keep him wanting you more and more. It takes ingenuity and skill. But you can cleverly guide a man to give, protect and cherish you like you'd never believe possible IF you know how to do it.

Women are the spiritual leaders on the planet. In general, men are more simple minded (not an insult...it's the way a man's brain is designed). When a woman knows how to artfully guide a man to become a better man, everybody wins.

And yes...not only will he be into you you, he will stay into you!

Sound good?

If so, everything you need to know and much, much more is in The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course. Start "getting him into you" by ordering your copy today!

Does He Juice You Up? (or Drain You Dry?)

2009-02-02T09:32:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Hollywood Dating Director"

Look around you...

The guy you attracted on line. Does he juice you up or does he drain you dry by e-mailing and texting, but never inviting you out?

The man you're dating. Does he pick you up? Does he take you out? Does he make a plan? Does he juice you up or drain you dry?

The man you've been with. He was generous at first but now you're exhausted because you're giving too much. Does he still juice you up?

And while we're at it...

What about your girlfriends?

Or your family?

Or your job?

Do they juice you up...or do they drain you dry?

Currently, I'm a member of several masterminds. I joined these groups because I want to be around like-minded friends and colleagues who want to grow their businesses.

AND...I want to be around people who juice me up!

It's sweet.

It's refreshing.

It's invigorating.

And it just feels damn good to be with people who make you feel good about yourself!

In The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story, I talk about the importance of looking and feeling your best when you are dating and building relationships.

It's important to take care of yourself. In love. In life. And that means being around people who juice you up and stop being around people who don't.

Sometimes it's a date. You want him to call. You worry that he won't. You hate that you're thinking about it...this much. It's draining.

Sometimes it's a man. He wants you to do this and be that and to come and go there. (Or not.) (And that's a drain too!)

Sometimes it's a friend. She doesn't understand why you're going out on a date instead of hanging with her.

Sometimes it's your Mother. She expects you to be at the family dinner. Period.

Yes, your friends and family SAY they are supportive (and some really are), but there are those who don't want your relationship to change with them. Beware.

Find the people who fill you up and support you. Keep them!

Next time you're on a date (or with someone) ask yourself, "Does he/she juice me up or drain me dry?"

You'll know the answer.

If you want to learn exactly what to say and do with your friends and family so they can be in support of you and your romantic relationship...

Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!

Be My Date for Valentines?

2009-01-30T20:08:00.000-08:00

February 14th is almost here and you know what that means!

Valentine's Day Drama!
(Eeeek Screeech!)

Are you anxious about having a date?

Do you scurry past restaurants filled with happy couples?

Do you ban with your girlfriends to celebrate Singles Awareness Day?

Or do you stay home and ignore the whole blah, damn thing? (Who needs it.)

If you are a Victim of Valentine's Day Drama, it's time for a New Direction!

Join me on a FREE LIVE tele-seminar!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

6:30 p.m. PST

On this FREE call, we'll discuss:

· The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions...Ever! (and other things you wish you'd known way back when!)

· How to Define Your Role in a romantic relationship so you eliminate confusion

· Set the Stage to attract EXACTLY who and what you want to attract

· Speak Your Part so you'll know exactly WHAT TO SAY in any dating situation

Be the STAR of your own Love Story!

CLICK HERE to register for this FREE tele-seminar now:

I can't wait to share with you some great ideas that will help you have the romantic relationship you desire! And we'll have a lot of fun in the process!

I look forward to seeing you on the call!

To Your Love Life!

Cherry Norris
The Hollywood Dating Director

P.S. Space is limited on this call! CLICK HERE to reserve your spot NOW!

Do You Want Him to Respect You...or Cherish You?

2009-01-21T10:29:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

"The most important thing is to have a man respect me!" Ellie proclaimed.

"Do you want a man to cherish your feelings?" I asked.

"Of course. I want that too," Ellie added.

"Fine. Stay single and take two lovers."

If you want to be respected and feel cherished in a romantic relationship, you'll need two partners.

One can respect your ideas and follow your lead. The other can cherish your feelings and make the plans.

See? You can have it all.

Just not at the same time.

Or with the same person.

(Unless he's a "doormat" who doesn't have a voice. Or is soooo spineless. Ewww.)

In a romantic relationship, the greatest intimacy is promoted when one partner feels cherished for feelings and the other is respected for thoughts.

If you want to be respected for your thinking AND cherished for your feelings, there is simply no space for another person.

When you Voluntarily give up your respectability in a romantic relationship it means you choose to have your feelings cherished over your thoughts respected and you are willing to follow your man as long as he's moral, ethical and legal.

This doesn't mean you can't be respected for your thoughts Ever...it just means you choose to have your feelings cherished first.

When a man cherishes your feelings, you'll actually feel respected.

(Think about that for a moment!)

When you don't feel good about something and you share your feelings with your man...and he "respects" your feelings...he's actually cherishing you! (Pretty cool, huh?)

When you give your thoughts to a man and he respects your ideas, guess what? You're the man! When a man respects what you think and want...you are the "Hero" of your relationship.

Many times you go competitive with your partner and you don't know why. The reason is because you both want to tell each other what to do...or you both wait for the other person to make the plan!

So when you're meeting a new man...or if you're already with someone...decide:

Do you want to be respected for your thoughts and leadership skills in your romantic relationship?

OR:

Do you want to be cherished for your feelings and are willing to voluntarily give up your lead and follow your respected partner?

If you want to learn exactly what to say and do to have a man cherish you (and know how to artfully guide him) in your romantic relationship...

Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!

Do You Keep Him or Delete Him?

2009-01-12T14:12:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

You didn't hear from him on Christmas. Do you keep him or delete him?

You heard from him on New Year's but since he hadn't called for two weeks you had already deleted him. Then he sends you a "Happy New Year" text. Now what?

You've known each other for a while but the connection between you has shifted. It just doesn't feel the same. Keep him or delete him?

How do you know when someone is worth keeping and when they are not?

Well, it depends on you. And the role you play in the relationship.

If you really clicked when you got together and he didn't call you on Christmas (especially if you just met) - Keep Him. Don't delete him. Not yet anyway!

He doesn't think like you during the holidays. For him, Christmas is just another day. If he's going to call you, he will call you. When he wants to. In his time.

Your role is to be Patient.

Wait for his call. Keep dating others.

Now if you are impatient and delete him because he didn't call when you wanted him to... When, after two weeks, you were hurt and furious and hit delete to show him... And then he texts "Happy New Year" (like nothing's happened!) Now what?

You keep him! He's just being a man. And a man won't do it your way. He will do it his way. In his time.

Your role is to be Accepting.

Text him back to say "Thank you." Chill out and keep dating others.

If you've known each other for a while and in the beginning it was great because you clicked in so many ways, then over time you find yourself drifting apart with different interests and different friends, and you just don't feel the same...do you keep him or delete him?

(Whew. That's a tough one.)

The general rule in relationships is unless you're getting physically sick, stay until it's over. Because if it's not really over, you'll find yourself in the same situation with someone else!

To know if you need to keep him or delete him ask yourself these questions:

Is this relationship resourceful? Does it serve me? Do I feel good? Am I having fun? Can we communicate?

Or does this relationship deplete me? Am I exhausted? Do I feel spent? Or dumped on? Or unimportant?

You'll know the answer. You'll know whether to keep him or delete him because...

Your primary role in every relationship is to be Self Loving.

Always.

To Your Love Life in the New Year!

If you're ready to Star in Your Own Romantic Relationship...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!

The 3 Most Important Dating Directions...Ever!

2008-12-27T16:06:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

It's the holidays! Oh, yes!

So how many cocktail parties, office parties or family gatherings have you been where you're asked, "How's it going?"

And you say, "Great. Great. Everything's great."

And you're asked, "How's your love life?"

And you're thinking, "uh...not so great."

And you're pressed, "Why's that? You're beautiful. Successful. Men must be all over you!"

And you're doing the best you can to come up with why you're still single.

So you say something like, "I dunno. I guess I haven't met the right one."

Or "I dunno. All the men I meet are jerks (especially in this town)."

And you're thinking, "I dunno. What's wrong with me? Why aren't men I like asking me out? What am I doing wrong?"

But you believe in yourself (because you ARE pretty and smart). You know it's possible (even your dowdy neighbor has a great relationship). If you just knew what to do differently (and didn't have to compromise your values or integrity)...you'd do it!

Well, you've come to the right place. I believe in you too. I know it's possible. And not only do I know exactly what you can do to have the romantic relationship you desire...I know how you can become a much better woman in the process! Seriously.

You have NO idea how much I wish I would have known this 20 years ago! It would have saved me so much wasted time and agony worrying about the WRONG men! Ugh!

Lucky girl! You can learn from my blunders and create your own love story...much sooner!

The first most important dating direction is to:

1. Define Your Role

Are you confused when it comes to dating and relationships?

Then it's possible you don't know your role (or your choices).

When you define your role in a relationship you eliminate confusion and stop going competitive with your partner.

You know what's happening. You know what's going on. And you'll know how to read the signs when you're headed for trouble and what to do to get your relationship back on track!

The reason there's so much conflict and drama is because people don't know their roles in relationships. They get together then have no skills to stay together. The result is chaos and divorce.

You must know your role to keep your relationship on a healthy, intimate course.

2. Set the Stage

Let's say you want to meet a new man. How you present...on-line, in person and in your home...sets the stage for who and what you want to attract (or not!)

If you're dating on-line, you want a FANTASTIC headshot and resume. Use a professional photo and write a brief, creative resume that sets you apart from the zillions!

Set your stage in person by being prepared. You never know where he might pop up! (He could be at the dry cleaners!) So look good, feel good, taste good, smell good and sound good wherever you go. And remember to SMILE!

And what about your home? Is there space for another person? Does your environment attract the love of your life? If your ideal man walked through that door this very minute, would he fit?

You must set your stage to make room for the relationship you want to attract.

3. Speak Your Part

How you speak within the first 30 seconds of meeting someone can determine the success (or lack of success) in every romantic relationship.

Within the first minute of meeting a new man, you've established a friendship, a business deal or a romance.

DO NOT make the mistake of setting up a business deal with a man you're romantically attracted to!

Or just as important...DO turn a business deal into a date! :)

You can do this when you speak your part.

Men will notice you and be more receptive. He will hear and understand you. And he will fall more in love with you when you know how to guide him by speaking your part.

(It's so cool when you understand how it all works!)

Defining your role (knowing who you are in a relationship), setting the stage (for what you want to attract) and speaking your part (to build intimacy) are The 3 Most Important Dating Directions...Ever!

Great Gifts...That Don't Cost You a Dime

2008-12-12T15:32:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

'Tis the season...and you know what that means. Parties! Presents! And...Possibilities!

You want to be prepared!

You want to look good. You want to feel good. You want to be on your best behavior (or not! :))

But just in case...

Just in case this season...you're invited to a fabulous party or decide to host that intimate gathering or just want to go out with friends to see the latest cover band...

And just in case He's there...

You wanna look and feel your best. You want to be your best self.

And just in case...

You want to be prepared with gifts...for yourself as well as others.

Here are five great gift ideas that are appropriate for you to give during the Holidays...and all year 'round!

1. Give Presence

When you enter a room...whether it's on a date or for a party...how you present can determine the level of success (or lack of success) for your evening.

You give great presence when you look good, taste good, smell good, sound good and feel good.

Wear something that makes you feel fantastic!

Do something that's good for your body...like dancing or exercise or listening to good music. Baths and naps are good too!

Give presence to the moment. Listen and speak with respect. Even if you don't agree with him (or think he's a dweeb) give him the courtesy of listening.

Listening is an awesome gift.

2. Give Back

He gives. You give back.

He calls. You call him back.

He takes you out...(okay twice.) You cook him dinner.

Give back in appreciation when he (or anyone else) gives to you.

When you receive a gift, give back. Give back to a man you respect in a creative, appreciative way. DO NOT...I repeat...DO NOT give him as much as he gives you.

If you give equally...you're friends. If you give more, he's in debt to you. So unless you wanna play the role of BIG MAMA, pay attention to how much he gives you and what you give back.

3. Give a Smile

Smiles make you look good and they're easy to wear.

Funny thing about a smile...even when you don't feel like it, smiling makes you feel better.

Do it. Push up the corners of your mouth (use your fingers if necessary) and see what happens.

Nothing? Do it again.

Starting to feel it?

Once more...

See? Great. Keep wearing it! :)

4. Give a Compliment

When he does something nice for you, compliment him.

Thank him for his phone call. Thank him when he takes you out. Tell him how much you appreciate the date (even if you were bored silly.) (He can't help who he is.)

Practice giving compliments. Thank the bus boy who fills your water glass. Appreciate the security guard who opens the door for you.

Men feel good when they're acknowledged for doing good.

One of the greatest gifts you can give a guy is a compliment.

And when the compliment comes from an amazing, awesome woman like you, he'll Rock when he receives it!

5. Give to Yourself

This holiday season, I hope you receive many gifts!

But the greatest gift of all is the gift you give yourself. So be generous. Be good to yourself. Take time out. Have fun. Rest. Make time to feel good...

And may you have the best Holiday EVER!

Enjoy! :)

If you liked this article, you'll absolutely LOVE "The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story" Home Study CD Series!

Is He Dating You, Courting You or WTF?

2008-11-29T12:43:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

After three great dates and lots of passion, Linda was sure she'd met the one. He was perfect! Attractive, attentive and all-into-her!

Weeks later when she stopped hearing from him, she didn't know WTF had gone wrong.

Linda thought she was being courted by this man. Instead he was dating her.

Which raises the question...

How do you know if a guy is dating you or courting you?

And what's the BIG difference anyway?

Dating is for the short-term. He's here. He's hot. He's gone. Flash and crash. Fun for the moment, then poof...it's over.

Courting is for the long-term. It's slow. It builds. It buds. It's romantic...and long lasting.

A man knows in advance if he wants to date you or court you.

He knows in advance if he wants to play with you for the short-term or if he's in for the long haul.

It's in your best interest to know sooner, rather than later if he's into you for the long run.

So how do you know? How can you tell?

Well, if he hasn't said something like, "I'm at a point in my life where I'm ready to settle down..."

Then ask him. Ask him BEFORE you have sex.

This is how you will know the difference.

Ask him before having sex what his plan is. Is he in it with you for the long-term? Is he seeing other women socially and sexually? Is he willing to see you consistently?

If he is in it for the long-term, he's willing not to see other women and he wants to see you on a regular basis, you can bet he's into you. He's courting. He's there with you for the ride.

If he's not into you, he won't do these things. He'll say something like, "Hey, I really like you, but I just wanna have fun. I'm not into a relationship right now."

So the next time you meet a guy you like, you'll know if he's dating you or courting you. And then you can decide how (and if) you want to play along.

Have fun! :)

Cherry Norris, aka "The Dating Director" is a renowned dating coach, workshop director and popular speaker.

If you liked today's article, you'll absolutely LOVE "The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Romantic Relationship" Home Study CD Series!

The BE Attitudes of Being a Great Woman

2008-11-17T12:20:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

How can you find a great man? Why, being a great woman, of course.

Even if you're not looking for (or have already found) a great man, you can still be a Great Woman...just interact with men the way you interact with life.

1. BE OPEN to whatever he presents.

2. BE APPRECIATIVE of Everything he offers.

3. BE RECEPTIVE of his ideas (no matter how ridiculous you think they are).

4. BE FIRM and Say NO to what you don't want and what feels uncomfortable.

5. BE RESPECTFUL of what he thinks.

6. BE SELF-DISCIPLINED and keep your mouth shut when you know you can do it better. Or faster. (This is a really tough one.)

7. BE PATIENT. (Another tough one.) (Really tough.)

8. BE ACCEPTING of who he is because that's who he is. And that's what you get. And that's the truth.

9. BE GRACEFUL. (Do the best you can here :))

10. BE PERSISTENT in your pursuit of femininity. Never stop taking care of yourself. Ever. Never stop taking time for things you know are REALLY important and make you feel good.

And may you always BE a Great Woman in Love and Life!

Cherry Norris, aka "The Dating Director" is a renowned dating coach, workshop director and popular speaker. If you liked today's article, you'll absolutely LOVE "The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Romantic Relationship" Home Study CD Series! Click Here to Order Now!

What Role Are You in Relationships?

2008-11-04T10:18:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

Are you having difficulty finding what you're looking for in a romantic relationship? Maybe you're in a relationship, but at times you're just not communicating well.

Before blaming your partner or thinking there's no one out there for you, consider taking a good look at what role you're playing in relationships and what it is you're attracting.

In theatre, great drama and great romance stems from great roles. The same is true in relationships.

So what's your role?

1. The HERO

As men and women, it's normal to compete in sports, in business or in school. We're taught to go out and get what we want in the world. We're rewarded for producing. We're compensated for performance. That's all good.

But are you competitive in your romantic relationships?

A masculine HERO knows what he wants and goes after it. He thinks, acts and problem solves. He usually brings the money and status in a relationship.

A HERO isn't always the man. Women can be HEROES too.

In fact, women are HEROES when they nurture and mother. Giving, protecting and cherishing are HERO skills. (Shocking, but true). Female HEROES usually mother their men.

Many romantic relationships end up going competitive because there are two too many HEROES on stage.

2. The INGENUE

The INGENUE is feminine. Feminine is not to be confused with passive. The INGENUE is a potent, powerful energy, but operates very differently from the HERO.

An INGENUE gets what she wants by knowing what she doesn't want. Ingenues receive and give back in appreciation. They are available and are open to ideas and suggestions. INGENUES respect their HEROES.

INGENUES are feeling-oriented. Their mantra is: If It Feels Good, Do it!

Unlike a HERO who goes competitive wanting to achieve and win, INGENUES go competitive with feelings.

Sometimes there are two too many INGENUES in a romantic relationship.

3. The MASTER

If there is such a thing as a healthy narcissist, it would have to be a single MASTER. "What do I want to do? What do I feel like eating? I have to pay my bills. I don't want to go out tonight." The MASTER acts on both thoughts and feelings...which is perfectly fine in a single lifestyle.

In a relationship, the role of MASTER goes to the partner who gets both thoughts respected AND feelings cherished.

The MASTER is both HERO and INGENUE in his/her relationship, leaving very little (if any) room for a poor, unworthy...

4. The SLAVE

Like a doormat, the SLAVE gets stepped on, but doesn't speak. The SLAVE'S only role is to serve their super egotistical narcissistic MASTER.

The SLAVE respects and cherishes his/her partners thoughts and feelings and is seldom rewarded or acknowledged for their own needs.

When a SLAVE is noticed, it's usually to be kicked or walked upon. Often the SLAVE will incorrectly "mind read" the wants or needs of their MASTER or does something displeasing. When this happens, tragedy can occur. (Remember O.J., anyone?)

So which role are you? :)

For more dating techniques and to learn what to do and say in your relationship (so you don't blow it)...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course Today!

Dialogue for Difficult Situations

2008-10-17T12:54:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

Gina was so excited! A man she was really interested in FINALLY called to invite her out!

"So are you free this weekend?" He asked.

"Yes I am," Gina responded.

"Great. Let's get together."

"Great."

"So what do you want to do?" He asked.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Gina asked.

"Whatever you want. I'm flexible."

"Me too. I don't care," Gina said.

And after a few rounds of "I don't know, what do you want?" Gina is so frustrated by the man's lack of a plan that the energy drains right out of the phone call.

What could Gina have done? How could she have kept her date in a position of respect and the chemistry high?

Chances are if a man asks out a woman then asks her to make the plan, he's doing it to please her. He doesn't want to take a risk on taking her someplace she doesn't want to go.

However he unknowingly frustrates her when he invites her out without a plan.

How would you get your date to step up and make the plan?

First...

1. Give Him the Right to be Wrong

It's appropriate for a woman who doesn't want to be the respected leader to say something like, "You have every right to ask me to make the plan." (This gives him permission to be who he is and do things his way.)

Then...

2. Express Your Feelings

Tell him you're uncomfortable leading. Offer that he presents some ideas and you'll express how you feel about them.

Finally...

3. Make an Agreement

Ask him what he thinks about presenting ideas.

If the man doesn't agree to make the plan (and you don't want to) there's no agreement. You're done. It's over.

A masculine man will appreciate a woman's willingness to let him lead. Chances are, he'll be relieved to initiate ideas.

The key thing to remember here is to know your role and speak your part.

A feminine woman gets what she wants by knowing what she doesn't want. In this situation, Gina didn't want to lead so she needed to guide the man into making the plan as soon as he asked her what she wanted to do.

This way he feels respected and Gina feels good about accepting the date.

For more dating techniques and to learn what to do and say in your relationship (so you don't blow it)...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!

Is Your Stage Set for Love?

2008-10-06T11:05:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

Recently, my friend hired a feng-shui artist to advise her on arranging her home to attract the love of her life.

"Where's your man going to put his brief case? With so many pillows on your bed, where's he going to sleep?" the feng-shui artist asked.

My friend had an apartment filled with many things, but apparently with no space for another person.

What about you? Do you have space in your home for love? If your ideal man walked through the door...would he fit?

Here are two simple directions to Set Your Stage for Love:

1. De-Clutter

Before meeting Lorenzo, I made a conscious purge of my home that lasted several months.

I cleaned files and deleted old business. I updated my photographs and removed items from my ex. I cleaned closets and left space for a new man to add his clothes. I gave away or threw away anything that wasn't beautiful, useful or meaningful.

This wasn't and easy process and it took a few passes, but I did my best to de-clutter my home.

Do you have a bunch of stuff that's getting in the way of your having a relationship? If so, let it go! If you're not using it, someone else will...

And you'll free your space for something new!

2. Re-Design

As a single woman living in my single apartment, my decor supported it.

My artwork featured single women.

My furniture was old and Victorian.

And (embarrassingly) my bedroom looked like a sixteen year old lived there. I had dainty flowered wallpaper and lace curtains and dolls on the bed! What man was going to get turned on in there?!?

So I re-designed.

I replaced my single girl art with couples and landscapes and beautiful scenery. I added a fresh coat of paint, a new bedspread and curtains to my bedroom. I bought two equal bedside tables and lamps. I removed family photos and replaced them with sensual candles and light. And what a difference!

Now did this make a difference in my meeting Lorenzo? Maybe. Maybe not. What I do know is that I started the process before meeting him in Italy and he moved to Los Angeles the day after the final picture was hung! Seriously.

I believe in the power of manipulating energy. When you move things around...furniture, your body...and reframe your dialogue and your behavior...you stand to create different results in your life than if you continue to do the same thing over and over.

So I ask you...Is Your Stage Set for Love?

If not, take a risk on De-Cluttering and Re-Designing your space for romance and observe the different results you get!

For more dating techniques and to learn what to do and say in your relationship (so you don't blow it)...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!

Do's & Don'ts of Your Dating Resume

2008-09-23T11:40:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

Before every audition, an actor prepares.

Before meeting with an agent or a director, he submits a headshot and resume.

Before the meeting, the agent/director will determine if the actor will be called in...or end up in the trash.

The same is true in dating.

The headshot and resume on your dating profile make your first impression. Often it determines if someone will meet you or delete you.

On-line dating resumes publicize what you want to attract, but most people don't know how to market effectively.

Even if you're not auditioning on-line, a dating resume gives you a chance to uniquely define your role and what you're looking for.

Five directions to keep in mind when scripting your dating profile:

1. DO Have a Fantastic Headshot

The Wall Street Journal reported that 30% of people dating on-line don't post photos! Without a photo, you have the least likely chance of meeting someone.

Take a good professional photo and use it!

DO NOT use a dark photo with your friends (or your ex) at some party where you look like you've had a few too many and there's a palm tree growing out of your head!

2. DO Create Your Own Character

Use Vivid, Bold descriptions! Make every word count.

Marketing your long slender legs, milky skin, deep sea-green eyes and million dollar smile gets attention.

Creating a character separates you from the masses!

3. DON'T List All the Qualifications For Your Co-Star

Telling us your mate must be gorgeous, intelligent, wealthy, sexy, healthy, romantic, sensitive, spiritual, charismatic, well-mannered, potty trained, and a non-smoker is waaayyy too much!

Limit yourself to three NON-NEGOTIABLES that are definable, attainable and communicable.

4. DON'T Lead With Your Worst Lines

Letting us know that your ex is an alcholic or you've only dated self-absorbed jerks in the past so you don't want any more of "those people" responding isn't your best introduction.

Please...save it for later...much later...if at all!

(This seems obvious, but you wouldn't believe the number of resumes I've read with this kind of info!)

5. DO Proof Your Profile

Read your resume for spelling and grammer. Expecially if you want to be takin serriously! :-)

For more dating techniques and to learn what to do and say in your relationship (so you don't blow it)...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!

How to Direct Your Life

2008-09-08T11:04:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

Last summer, I re-directed my life.

After my husband and I moved to Marina del Rey, I took time off from work to percolate. I attended Interior Design School. I did home projects...decorating, cooking, entertaining. (I painted most of the walls in our house and became quite a little handy woman in the process...FYI :))

Finally, wanting to feel more productive, I decided to get my masters degree in psychology and enrolled at Antioch University.

Then I read a book called "The Four Hour Work Week" by Timothy Ferris and my life changed.

Ferris has a system on how to prioritize your life. (I am really going to paraphrase here. Ferris' description is much more detailed than what I'm sharing with you.)

But, in general, this is a simple exercise with very big impact. You can use this exercise to direct your life...anyway you want. Forever!

1. List Everything You Want to Be, Have and Do

Everything. Everything you think is important or want to do in this life, write it down. Even things you don't think are possible, but you'd like to have or be or experience. Put them all down on paper.

This will take some time. At first great things start coming to you, like traveling around the world; owning your own yacht; speaking Japanese fluently; having a fabulous romantic relationship, etc.

Then you'll ponder and mull in your sleep. You'll think of more. It's all good. Write it down.

And once you think your list is complete...

2. Edit Your List to the Top FOUR Priorities

This is a little tougher. You really have to think about what's important. What do you really want to be? What do you really want to have? What do you really want to spend your time doing?

(That's what this exercise is really about. How you really want to spend your time in life.)

I edited my list: Get a masters in psychology. Complete design school. Visit family. Redo the bathroom.

I looked at my list. I didn't feel excited.

These were all good things. Seeing family. Learning. Building.

These were things I could do or should do...but they didn't inspire or motivate me to want to do.

3. Each Priority MUST Inspire & Motivate You!

You must really get excited and charged when you think about these four things! They must make you want to get up in the morning! They must stimulate your energy and creativity!

My list bored the hell out of me.

So I threw it out and started over.

I listed things I really wanted to do in life. Despite what anyone thought. Despite the "shoulds" in my head.

I wrote: Go to water ski camp. Paint the bedroom. Vacation with my husband on a tropical island. Write an on-line newsletter. Speak French fluently. Italian, too. Visit South America.

Then I narrowed my list down to the Top Four.

And I realized...Psychology school wasn't even on my list. Didn't even come in my head as I was writing. Not once!

(Wow. Guess who didn't go to Psychology class the next day?)

4. Complete the Top Four Priorities Within the Next 3-6 Months

If one of your goals is too general or not obtainable within 3-6 months, break it down.

If speaking French fluently was a priority, I would have enrolled in a French class and started learning. (French didn't make it into my Top 4.)

Let's say you want a romantic relationship. What can you do to move yourself towards that goal within three months? Something you're not already doing now. You could: Join an organization to meet new people. Practice flirting five minutes a day. Learn more about yourself and who you want to be (and attract) in a relationship.

The goal must stretch you. It must take you out of your comfort zone. It must extend you past your normal routine and inspire you towards the big goal.

And the first step must be attainable within 3-6 months.

5. Re-Evaluate Your List Every 3-6 Months

Do you remember your New Year's Resolutions? I don't. (And if I did, I probably didn't do them.)

Re-evaluating your Top Priorities every 3-6 months not only gives you clarity...it gives you flexibility. And the ability to accomplish what's really important to you without a lot of distraction.

And it allows you to change your mind. If after three months, you stop feeling inspired, do something else. Make a new list.

When I'm asked to do something that doesn't align with my Top Four priorities, I tell people to get back with me on a certain date because for now, my plate is full!

Next time you're overwhelmed with "to dos," list your priorities, eliminate the "shoulds" and go forth inspired...(for at least three months!)

Setting the Stage for Sex

2008-08-25T10:46:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

Tom puts his arm around Sandra as they walk to her door. Wanting the date to continue, Sandra invites Tom inside for coffee. He readily agrees.

Once inside, the coffee's forgotten as Sandra and Tom kiss on the sofa. Juices are flowing and the chemistry is hot.

Tom moves his hand up Sandra's skirt, slides up her thigh. Sandra gently pushes his hand away.

Tom kisses her again, moving his hand to her breast.

Sandra makes a weak attempt to remove it.

Tom nuzzles into Sandra's neck and whispers, "Let's go to your bedroom."

Uh oh. What's Sandra gonna do?

Does she go for it and risk Tom thinking she's a one-night stand? Or does she say "no" and risk Tom thinking she's a tease?

How does Sandra set the stage for sex in this new relationship?

By talking about it.

In my opinion, there's only one hard and fast direction around when to have sex. That is: When you know the plan.

If you want a one-night stand or a brief affair and your partner is in agreement, go for it. You're both on the same page.

If you want a long-term romance and your partner wants an affair, stop! You're incompatible.

Sandra needs to tell Tom how she feels so feelings aren't hurt and agendas aren't mixed.

Let's say Sandra wants a relationship. What exactly does that mean? How can she communicate to Tom what she wants?

By telling him she wants Longevity, Continuity and Exclusivity to feel safe before having sex. She must have all three. One or two simply ain't good enough!

Longevity: What is the long-term plan? If you want to be married, does your partner want the same thing? This doesn't mean you'll end up marrying each other, but at least you'll know if you're moving in the same direction.

Continuity: How often do you plan to see each other? Once a week? Twice a week? Monthly? If you're long distance, how often will you visit?

Monogamy: This means social as well as sexual monogamy. It's a wonderful thing to have a sexual commitment. It's also a good idea to contract the social monogamy so your partner's not back on line looking for another deal!

It's valuable for two people who want a long-term, romantic relationship to allow the friendship to grow as long as possible. The best romance is between the ears. Anticipation during courtship can be so delicious! Once a couple enters into a sexual relationship the dynamics shift. So enjoy the foreplay!

In my opinion, the longer you wait to consummate sex, the deeper the feelings of love making. If you can resist until the third or fourth month, you'll have a much better idea of whom you're in a relationship with.

For more dating techniques and to learn what to do and say in your relationship (so you don't blow it)...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!

Making an Entrance: The Power of Presentation

2008-08-11T16:46:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

I fluffed my hair, dabbed my lipstick and gave myself one last check in the mirror. Then I took a deep breath.

I opened the door.

And there he stood...

Tall, Dark and Dirty.

Seriously. He was filthy. His clothes weren't washed. There was dirt underneath his fingernails and he smelled bad.

I couldn't believe this man had showed up like this for our date.

Our first meeting and he knocks at my door unbathed!

He was an electrician and he came to pick me up directly from work. (We were meeting for the first time through a dating agency.)

Before he could open his mouth...I knew this man was most definitely NOT MY MAN!

Before he could speak, I cast him in the role of "Loser".

I couldn't hear a thing he said....

Because it was over. In the first three seconds as he stood at my door, it was over. Done.

No matter what you think...Presentation is important.

People make an impression of you in the first three seconds of seeing you.

How you look, how you act and how you speak can set the stage for your relationship (or lack of a relationship) from here to eternity.

My date made a memorable entrance...but not a favorable one.

Here are three directions on how to make a favorable entrance to attract the man you want:

1. Dress the Part

Do you look your best? Are you clean? Do you smell good? How's your hair and make-up?

Does what you're wearing fit you? Is it the right color? Does it flatter your body?

If it doesn't, you're not dressing your part. You can't possibly expect to attract a really great guy if you don't look good.

Dress your best. Wear something soft. Wear something touchable. Wear something that shows off your figure.

If you're dressing to attract the attention of a man, be sure you're giving him something he'd like to see.

And put a smile on your lips and sway your hips! Because, baby, he also likes how you move!

2. Act the Part

Are you courteous? Are you timely? Are you rude?

Do you tell him what to do? Or do you let him lead?

Do you ask for his number? Or wait for him to want to call you?

Do you impress him with your accomplishments or respect his first? (HELLO! If you're respecting each other's accomplishments, you're two men at work...you're not on a date!)

If you want to attract a man, you want him to like how you act.

That means being on time. Listening to what he has to say. Smiling when he says something amusing.

Act as if you enjoy being with him and that he interests you. (Even if he doesn't interest you, it's good practice!)

Knowing how to act your part is part of being in a relationship. And that (as far as I know) will never change.

3. Speak the Part

Do you talk too much? Are you critical? Do you judge?

Do you say "Yes" to his ideas? "Thank you" to his compliments? Or "Please" to what he offers?

And when it's uncomfortable can you really say "No"? (And mean it?)

You must know how to speak to your partner. How to respect him. How to build with him. How to negotiate and communicate with him.

I don't have to remind you how different we are. How men's and women's brains are different. How we speak and communicate so differently.

As a woman, it's in your best interest to understand a man's language and how he takes in information so that when you speak, he hears you and understands you.

In a romantic relationship it will serve you to know how to speak to your man.

So next time you Make an Entrance to Meet a New Man remember...how you dress, how you act and how you speak...can determine the success (or lack of success) in your relationship.

If you want to better understand what you're doing and how to shift to get better results...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!

Behind the Scenes: The Reality of a Relationship

2008-07-26T17:59:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

"Tell me something bad," my client whined.

"I love reading your newsletters and reading about your fabulous life and seeing how happy you are with your husband. But sometimes I really don't want to hear about it! Especially when I'm having so much difficulty. So tell me something that's not working in your life!"

Wow. As the Dating Director, I want to keep a positive attitude about love and life. And it's easier and more fun to write about good things. Especially when life is full of good things.

It's true. I've been blessed. I have good friends, good health, good surroundings and the love of a good man. Who could ask for anything more? :)

You could say I'm one of the lucky ones.

And believe me I am lucky when it comes to family and friends.

But getting into a romantic relationship...that's where Luck had nothing to do with it.

I worked hard. I dated a lot of men. I had to learn what to do, what to say and how to be as a woman. I had to learn how to express myself in a way that made me feel better about who I am in a relationship. And I had to learn how to negotiate and communicate in a rational way so I could be heard and understood by a man.

It wasn't easy. It's taken years. And I'm still learning.

But it's working. I have an eight year relationship to show for it. (Neither Lorenzo nor I had been in a relationship that lasted past a year and a half before.)

So it's definitely been worth it.

But make no mistake. Getting into a relationship is where the real work begins! You think you know what you want and then you somehow get it. And then you panic and think...what do I do with it now?

Relationships are Major Skill Builders and Major Tests. About who you are. About who he is. About who you are together. About choices you make. About commitment. And about fear.

So today I'm sharing with you three realities from my relationship (and I don't think I'm alone. :))

1. Expect Conflict

Because you're gonna have it. In fact, you can mark your calendar because usually the bomb goes off about every two months. Every sixty days it's like a BIG pimple pops. Things build up and it just blows.

I don't know ANYONE in a relationship (a good one anyway) that doesn't deal with some kind of conflict or major obstacle of some sort. NO ONE.

Everybody's got their stuff.

It could be an ex. Or children. Or a meddling in-law. Or a health issue. Or finances. Or________(fill in the blank).

Conflict is part of Relationship.

It's how you DEAL with conflict that determines if you'll stay with your partner or not.

Now the good news: Conflict Builds Intimacy.

So don't fight with anyone you don't want to build with.

And remember...making up can be fun!

2. The Perfect Mate (or Situation) Doesn't Exist

Like buying a new house and then discovering it has leaks and mold, your dream man isn't perfect. And, lest I say, neither are you.

There are days when you will look at your husband (and he will look at you :)) and you both will think, "Why in the "$#)@* did I marry this jerk?" (Oh, yes. You will, too.)

My husband, Lorenzo, has these annoying little habits...like dumping sugar on the counter when he makes coffee and leaving it there. Or not sealing the zip lock bag together properly so food spoils. Or Arrrrgggghhh! Leaving all that nasty shaving cream mess in the bathroom sink.

You might be thinking, "Cherry, those things are so petty. That's not important in a relationship. You can learn to live with that."

And you're right.

I do.

But every now and then (at least every two months), those petty annoyances just add up and I blow!

That's when I scold him and tell him what to do.

And that's when he calls me BIG MAN.

'Cause I'm acting like BIG MAMA.

As skilled as I am in the art of femininity, there are times when IT'S REALLY HARD FOR ME TO BE THE GIRL! (Especially when I think I'm smarter, I can do it better and at least 10 times faster! :))

3. Beware of Yourself

Personally, I believe the reason we're in relationship is to heal parts of ourselves. My husband teaches me more about myself than I (really) want to know!

It's easy when everything's fine to keep a big smile.

But then the lights go out. (They do.) And trouble hits. (It does.) And you're tested. (You are.) And you see parts of yourself that you've never known. (Or want to know).

That's when a relationship is not so pretty. Or nice.

That's when it's dark. And scary. Because behind the scenes are where you see the dark side of yourself.

He exposes your greatest fears. He plays on your insecurities. He knows you behind your mask.

There's no place to go and hide. Your partner sees everything.

And It's hard. It's hard to watch yourself and who you can become when you're angry at someone you love.

It just feels bad. It sucks.

And there's more at stake being in a marriage. (More paperwork and furniture.)

So all I know to do is to strap myself in and go through it. Get through it the best I can.

And grow. And learn. And share.

And so far, it's been worth it.

Many times we "blow" a relationship because we don't know how to ask for what we want.

If you want to better understand what you're doing and how to shift to get better results...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!

To Pay or Not To Pay?

2008-07-15T20:19:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

To Pay or Not to Pay? It's often a confusing question when dating a new man.

What would you do in this situation?

You're having dinner with a man you find very attractive. He's sexy, smart, sensitive and fun. He's a gentleman. He treats you well. He makes you laugh. He's entertaining. And it seems like he's really into you.

The evening is delightful. Romantic. Absolutely perfect.

Then the check arrives.

Your date looks at the check and says, "Should we just split this?"

And your heart sinks.

(Damn.) (Just when everything was going so great.)

Would you...

    A. Tell him how rude he is and how he should NEVER ask a woman to pay.

    B. Reluctantly give in to his request and pay your share.

    C. Negotiate with him about who pays.

If you answered A, you're not giving him the right to be who he is. (Most men don't go for controlling bitchy women.) (Even if they are cheap.)

If you answered B, you're not standing up for yourself. And you'll resent (and punish) him later because paying for your meal doesn't make you feel good.

If you answered C, you're willing to take a risk on building an intimate relationship.

So should you decide to negotiate...how would you do it? (You may ask.)

1. Acknowledge Your Date Has the Right to Ask for What He Wants

Even if you don't like what he asks for.

If he asks you to pay (because he's broke; he just wants to be friends; he doesn't want to offend you by paying; or whatever...) remember he has a right to ask.

And if he's someone you want to build a relationship with, it's in your best interest to acknowledge it.

So tell him he has every right to ask you to pay your share.

2. Tell Him How You Feel About What He's Asked

If you don't feel comfortable splitting the tab, tell him.

Let him know you respect men who are generous and protective. And in return you'll feel more vulnerable and receptive to his lead and ideas.

It's in your best interest to feel a little indebted to a man you're dating. As you feel safer and cherished by his generosity, you're better able to open up sensually and sexually.

(How many men think that's a good idea? :))

3. Negotiate an Agreement

Ask what he wants to do.

Does he want to pay the bill and establish himself as the respected leader in the relationship? (If so, you're building intimacy.)

Or does he prefer to find someone else who will split the check with him? (That's called friendship. When a woman pays equal to a man there isn't a log of intimacy promoted.)

Generally, I believe whoever initiates the date should pay. But everyone has a right to ask for what they want. And in a situation such as this, it's a good idea to know how to negotiate.

So give your date permission to ask for what he wants, tell him how you feel about it and make an agreement.

Knowing how to negotiate helps build intimacy in all your relationships...not just in dating and romance!

Many times we "blow" a situation because we don't know how to communicate and negotiate to get what we want.

If you want to better understand what you're doing and how to shift to get better results...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!

Our Date Was GREAT! Why Hasn't He Called?

2008-06-27T14:41:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

Does this sound familiar?

You go on a date with someone. And it's Great.

You look good. You feel good. You connect with this person. You laugh. It feels like you could talk for days. And when you say "good-bye" you can't wait for the next time...

Because you're Absolutely, Positively Sure there WILL be a NEXT time.

And then...Nothing.

Poof. He's gone.

No call. No e-mail. No text.

And it feels horrible.

So you speculate...Maybe he's sick or lost my number???

And you re-enact...What could have possibly gone wrong???

And you poll your friends...What do YOU think???

And you wait...

And wait...

For the bloody phone to ring.

And it doesn't.

And it's driving you friggin' insane because...

You don't know what the "#$@*!" happened!

So what do you do???

1. Don't Take it Personally

Because it's not.

Men are logical. They know in advance if they're interested in dating or courting a woman. And there are significant differences in the two.

Dating is having fun for the moment.

Courting is planning for the long term.

If he's interested in dating, he's not going to court you. Period.

He may have sensed on the date that you were more interested in courtship rather than having fun and casual sex.

If a man doesn't call back, chances are he's not ready for a committed relationship.

2. Mark Your Calendar

It's common for a man to take 10 to 14 days to call back a woman.

Now before you start gettin' all wiggy...if he's Really Into You, he's gonna call sooner. I'm talkin' about the ones who don't!

Men operate on VERY different time lines than women. Men's brains are designed VERY differently from a woman's. (It doesn't take a scientist to figure that out! :))

It could take a man up to 8 WEEKS to call you back. (Yes. Seriously.) It could take him that long to process a decision to call.

So mark your calendar and be receptive if/when you hear from him.

3. Don't CALL HIM

Or e-mail. Or text. Or whatever! Wait it out!

His NOT calling is giving you lots of information on where he's at.

You don't wanna be chasing him if he's not into you!

If you haven't heard from him...AFTER eight weeks...you can send him a non-verbal salutation. Perhaps a short e-mail or greeting card could "jump start" him back into action.

If he doesn't respond, move on. He's simply not available.

4. Keep Yourself Out There

Stay open to dating others.

Best word in the English dictionary is "Next." If he's not interested, someone else will be.

So dress up, go out and attract someone new.

Many times we send out signals that are misperceived because we're unaware of our own behavior and how we're being interpreted.

If you want to better understand what you're doing and how to shift to get better results...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!

8 "Don'ts" of Dating

2008-06-16T12:31:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

So many questions. So many rules.

When is it appropriate to have sex? When do you call? What do you do when he doesn't do what he says he's gonna to do?

So many "do's and don'ts" of dating. It ain't easy. But to help you ease through the pain...here are 8 "Don'ts" to never "Do" in any relationship!

1. Don't EXPECT Anything

Period. As soon as you have an expectation for your date to do anything, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Watch what he does. See what he presents. Decide if you want it or if you don't. But don't expect it. Because I promise...he will never, ever, ever do it your way. Ever.

(If you insist on expecting something...then expect the WORST. That way you at least have a chance of being delighted and surprised.)

2. Don't COMPLAIN

You have every right to complain, but it doesn't help you. Nor does it change the situation. So stop the habit of complaining. No one wants to hear it anyway. It's not pretty and it doesn't look good...especially if you're trying to make a decent first impression.

3. Don't CALL HIM

Or e-mail. Or text. Or whatever! This is so elementary I'm embarrassed to repeat it. But there are those who still don't get it. (I know. Hard to believe.) If you call him, you're the driver. You're running the show. He'll expect you to pursue him.

So if you don't want to lead, don't call. Let him call you and you call him back. Forever. Got it?

4. Don't ARGUE With Anyone You Don't Want to Build With

If your date says something you don't agree with and you're not sure you like him...keep your mouth shut. Don't argue. Just listen. Sit back and watch the show. Don't engage.

Otherwise you risk getting to know him better and gaining a deeper understanding of where he's coming from. And that's building a relationship.

5. Don't TRUST Anyone

Ever. You will only be disappointed. People are human. So it's best to not trust him.

Now before you get all "wiggy" and self righteous, think of how you can't even trust yourself. How many times have you told yourself you're going to loose that extra weight? And how many times have you done it?

Trust a scorpion (you know what they're capable of) before you trust your date (or mate). Instead, take a risk on the person and build a trustworthy relationship.

6. Don't HAVE SEX Without an Agreement

Know what the deal is before having sex. If you both want a one-night stand or a brief affair...fine. Just communicate it in advance so feelings aren't hurt and agendas aren't mixed. If one of you wants a long-term romance and the other is in it for tonight, someone's gonna get hurt. So know what you're getting into.

7. Don't COMMIT to Anyone

Commit to the relationship...not the person. Do your part and hope (to God) he does his. If you commit to the person, you're setting yourself up for disappointment because you'll start expecting. (Refer to Tip #1.)

8. Don't LEAVE Too Soon

Stay as long as you can. Even if this man is not YOUR man, there's something to be gained. He can teach you much about what you like and what you don't. Think of it as a "dress rehearsal" for the real deal.

If you leave too soon, you risk repeating the same lesson over again with the next man. So stay until you're done and you get it with this one.

For more dating techniques and to learn what to do and say in your relationship (so you don't blow it)...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!

Are You Neutering Your Man?

2008-06-02T14:46:00.000-07:00

Trauma was the big ordeal of last week. Our puppy, Biscuit was neutered.

My husband, Lorenzo was a wreck. I had to reassure him (more than once) it wasn't HIS balls we were removing.

Neutering Biscuit got me thinking about the trauma men must feel when women inadvertently Neuter them by refusing their gifts and invitations.

Do You "Neuter Your Man"...Without Knowing You're Doing It?

Understanding in relationships can be quite challenging.

There are times when a woman...wanting to get her point across to a man...will come off as nagging, complaining and Hard to Please.

A man likes to win. He likes to make his woman happy. He usually won't stay with a woman who tells him what to do.

Consider for a moment, this seemingly innocent scenario:

Last week, Rose met a man who said he was very attracted and interested in her.

Instead of asking her out on a date or for a cup of coffee, he told her about a business gathering and invited her to come network.

Rose turned him down and told him she didn't like the fact that he invited her to a business matter rather than just asking her out based on the fact that he clearly showed he was interested in her. (Ouch!)

She's sad because she was really interested in him. She turned him down because she's tired of men hiding behind business in order to get close to her.

This is sad.

Sad because the man invited Rose out to get to know her in a safe, non-threatening way. It's very possible for romance to occur under the guise of a business deal.

Sad because Rose didn't know how to guide the man into romancing her. In her mind, she gave him advice to help him please her.

Instead, she Neutered him. She didn't mean to. She just didn't know.

It's frustrating for a man...when he's doing his best to give to a woman and make her comfortable...to be told something else would please her more.

Often a woman will read into a man's behavior and think he's doing his best to annoy her. She'll complain, "You should have done that" or "invited me there" or "given me this instead". What she's saying is, "I want more/better/different than what you're giving me."

And she's inadvertently castrating him.

If the man does what a woman requests, he's her "wittle boy." "Wittle boys" aren't generally respected by women.

If he chooses to go against her and do it his way, he's her arch enemy. It's hard to love an enemy.

Neither one is content or satisfied.

So what to do?

Ladies, simply say, "Yes. Thank you. Please."

Stop naggin' over nothin'!

Keep your mouth closed and do it his way unless what he proposes is unethical, illegal or immoral.

When a woman constantly tells a man what to do, he avoids her. And eventually he'll leave saying, "I'm sorry I can't please you. Go find someone who can."

The woman doesn't understand why he's gone. "I was only trying to help him," she laments.

Ladies, stop Neutering him by helping him. Let him do it HIS way and appreciate what he has to offer.

How To Know if He's REALLY Interested

2008-05-16T15:28:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

I received an e-mail from a single woman who attends church regularly. This year she started noticing the men attending her church events.

One man attracted her so she decided to practice her flirting techniques with him. Well, she smiled and got no response. He wouldn't even look at her. Then one night she walked next to him thinking he might look her way and say "hello". But he didn't. She'd never seen him with a woman. He was always alone. So she thought he was just shy.

Then one Sunday as she was selling baked goods, the man walked in...with a woman on his arm.

Ladies, when a man does not respond to you there are reasons.

So how can you tell if he's REALLY interested in meeting you?

1. Signal Him By Smiling for 5 Seconds

Three seconds is polite. Four is not enough. Five gets attention.

Yes, it's terrifying. Yes, you feel like you're inviting him to molest you on the spot. Yes, your armpits are sweating and your lip gets stuck on your tooth...but do it anyway.

A man needs to know you're interested before he feels safe enough to approach. Men who approach you without being signaled are usually drunks or nerds.

A man who walks across a room to speak to you after you've signaled him with a smile is DEFINITELY interested!

2. Don't Speak First

If you see a man you're interested in NEVER speak first (unless you want to pick him up, invite him out and pay for it.) (There's nothing wrong with that...just be conscious.)

If you speak to a man first, not only does it set you up to pursue him...you don't know if he's REALLY interested in you or just being polite.

I know of a woman who met a man in a coffee shop. She approached him and said, "I don't know if you're married or not, but I think you're cute."

They began seeing each other and after a couple months, she found out he was indeed married.

When she questioned him, he said, "You told me when we met you didn't care if I were married."

Oooops! Imagine her surprise.

3. Don't Take Rejection Personally

Sometimes you smile (or drop a handkerchief or trip him) and he just ignores you.
When this happens, don't take it personally. It's true that he may not find you attractive...but it could be because he's not available.

Maybe he's married. Maybe he's gay. Whatever.

Move on. Brush yourself off and smile at the next man you find appealing.

For more flirting techniques and to learn what to do and say in a new relationship (so you don't blow it)...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!

How To Handle the Not-So-Great Men

2008-05-05T10:24:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

There are Great Men and there are No-So-Great Men.

My Daddy used to say, "Cherry, half the men out there aren't worth killing." (Encouraging, isn't it?) Daddy was a corporate lawyer. And a Great Man. But he dealt with many Not-So-Great men throughout his life.

And he wasn't afraid to tell you about it.

Just as I'm about to tell you...

As a woman looking for love, you must deal with many Not-So-Great Men while looking for your Great Man.

(But you already knew that.) (See, nothing gets by you! :))

You know exactly who they are.

You can recognize them in an instant.

So knowing a Not-So-Great Man is not the problem...

The problem is What in God's name do you do with them?

Two examples of Not-So-Great Men are: The "Nice Guy But..." and the "Rogue."

1. The "Nice Guy But..."

You know this guy very well.

He's the guy you meet in the coffee shop or at the gym or your friend sets you up with.

And he's nice. There's nothing wrong with him. But there's no magic either. He's just okay.

He's a Not-So-Great Man. For You.

You go out a couple of times and you know he's feeling the "mojo," but you're not. And he wants to kiss you and you're like...yuck.

You don't want to hurt him. Or lead him on. After all he's a NGB.

So what do you do?

You tell him "see ya" respectfully. You leave him in as good a place as you found him. You thank him for everything he's given you.

And you wish him well.

No man deserves to be clobbered for being the "Nice Guy But..."

2. The Rogue

You LOVE this guy!

This guy is a charmer and he's smooth. And he looks good. And he says all the right things. (At first.)

And he (calls, texts, e-mails) you and you're pleased. And you start to like him.

Because he's sooooo funny and sooooo sexy.

But he's sooooo broke.

And that's when you start to give to "poor him."

You make him dinner. Or invite him over for a movie. Or have sex too soon.

And then you pay. (Dearly.)

You can't stop thinking about him. And wanting him. And feeling bad about yourself. Because he's gone.

Ladies, this is a Not-So-Great guy.

So what do you do?

You say "No."

"No" to sex. "No" to calling him to see if he's okay. "No" to having him over...for ANYTHING!

Until you get what YOU want and need first. Period.

The challenge with the Rogue is that he's sooooo great and sooooo charming. And you believe every sweet word he says (in the beginning).

So he's really tough to say "No" to.

But in the end, you'll be happy you did.

Where Are All the Great Men?

2008-04-21T11:35:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

I received a darling note from a single Italian woman living in Texas. She wrote: "I appreciate all your information, but where are all the great successful single men?"

I wrote back, "In Italy". (Of course:))

Then she requested I personally bring the great men to her and her friends.

Ahhhh. I would if I could.

But then what?

Because it really doesn't matter where you find a Great Man if you don't know what to do with him.

So the question becomes, "Are You a Great Woman?"

Often I hear women complaining, "There are no good men. All the great ones are taken."

So as a woman, who are YOU when it comes to relationships?

What are your thoughts? What are your habits? And what are your beliefs?

If you're thinking there are no Great Men out there, guess what?

You're right.

There are NO Great Men.

If you think you attract jerks and nerds. Guess what? That's exactly what you attract.

If you think all the Great Men are taken, you're right. They are.

But if you think there ARE Great Single Men out there...You're absolutely right!

Great Men are everywhere. They roam the planet. You'll find them at the bank. Or at the drycleaners. Or at the grocery.

It's possible to find Great Men in the most obscure, remote, unexpected and unlikely places.

And they come in surprising packages. (Not at all what you'd expect.)

I met my Great Man on a sailboat in the middle of the Mediterranean. He was a bartender. And he was 10 years younger. And he didn't speak English (well). And he lived in Italy (when he wasn't sailing around the world).

The odds of Lorenzo being my husband were about a zillion to one.

But here we are...over seven years later.

Not only did I find a Great Man, I knew what to do with him after we met. And that made ALL the difference.

So ask yourself, would you know a Great Man if you met him? And what would you do when you find him?

Remember...how you meet a man (within the first 30 seconds) can determine the success (or lack of success) in your next romantic relationship!

Before you start hunting the Great Men, you must be a Great Woman.

If you're not a Great Woman, you won't see him or know him. And you certainly won't keep him.

If you're not a Great Woman...you'll keep doing the same thing you're doing now...and you'll keep attracting what you have now...

Which is: NO Great Men.

(If that's okay with you, it's okay with me.)

But if it isn't...If you want a different result and are willing to take the risk, it's time to take a new direction.

And the QUICKEST way to get started is with my 8-week Home Study CD Series:

"Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story"

Here's to your being a Great Woman to attract (and keep) the Great Men!

How to Keep Him Calling Back

2008-04-07T11:49:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

The beginning of a new relationship is sooooo wonderful. Everything's fun and exciting (even a tad scary). But it's such a RELIEF to FINALLY find someone you're attracted to and can connect with.

Aaaahhhh....

This is also a time when a man...when he's REALLY into a woman...can call or e-mail or text her constantly.

"I really like him," my client Jane whined. "But I don't know. It's just...he's calling me all the time."

I sensed that even though Jane was flattered, she was a bit annoyed. Like the guy was soooo into her that she was actually bothered.

Guess what, girls?

That's a GOOD thing!

You WANT a guy to keep calling and texting and e-mailing. It's when he STOPS that you start worrying!

Most guys are single-focused. And more simple-minded than women. (This is not an insult...it's the way nature made us.)

When a man is REALLY into a woman, he pretty much targets his attention towards her and wants to be with her. Constantly. That means...most of the time.

Many women don't get this. (I didn't.) (Way back when.)

Jane was overwhelmed by so much attention, that she did the exact opposite of what she really wanted to happen.

Jane thwarted her man's pursuit by not taking his calls or not being available to see him and (arrrrggghhhh) telling him that he calls to much!

And guess what?

He STOPPED calling.

And guess what?

Jane is "whining" that the guy never calls like he used to.

Duuuuhhhh!

YOU trained him into it, Jane! You were annoyed when he called! You punished him for NOT doing it YOUR way!

Ladies, Pleeeaaassse!

When God gives you a gift of manna from the heavens, say "YES. THANK-YOU. PLEASE."

Don't clobber him when he calls! Don't push him away when he's really into you! Don't thwart his efforts by telling him you can do it yourself or you don't need "that" or you can pay for it yourself! Geeezzz!

Say "Thank you" when he calls. Say "Yes!" when he invites you out for Thursday (although you want to go out on Saturday). And for God's sake, say "Please" when he offers to do something nice for you!

Ladies, if you can properly guide a man to give, protect and cherish you, EVERYBODY wins. HE wins because he feels good doing it. YOU win because you feel good receiving it.

So the next time a guy you like starts calling you TOOOOO much say, (altogether now) "Yes. Thank-you. Please." (Again..."Yes. Thank-you. Please"...and again...)

And be HAPPY when he calls you back!

How to Divorce a Friend

2008-03-22T11:51:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

A few weeks ago I was having lunch with my dear friend, Lauren, whom I hadn't seen in ages. As we were catching up over burgers and salad, she asked about a friend of mine who I've known for many years.

"I don't know how she is," I answered. "I divorced her."

"What happened?" She asked incredulously.

Well...there wasn't anything that happened. And that's the difficult part.

If you've had an argument with someone or you've reached a "non-negotiable" or if life takes you in different directions, it's "easy" to end the relationship.

But when NOTHING out of the ordinary happens...when there's no reason to "break-up" other than you've outgrown the friendship, it's sticky.

"Basically," I told Lauren, "I didn't feel good when this friend called me.

I ALWAYS felt a sinking feeling in my stomach when I heard from her.

It was ALWAYS a big 'ole ''Should' to return her call and I ALWAYS dreaded getting together because I didn't enjoy it when we did.

This friendship was an energy drain. Not a pleasant pick-me-up. So I ended it."

"Wow," Lauren said. "I'm thinking of two friends I need to divorce...but I don't know how."

Breaking off a friendship is not easy...but here are 3 ideas:

1. Don't Be As Available

If you don't want a complete "split" with your "friend," but you don't want to see them as often, simply be busy.

You're not as available. Your time is limited. And other than "you're busy"...you owe no excuses.

Often we have to see our "friends" (or our ex's) because of school or work or attending the same church or living in the same neighborhood.

The easiest thing to do is to back-off. Don't be as available.

2. Don't Have a "Conversation" About It

If you're divorcing your friend because you don't want to be friends, there's nothing to say.

To say, "I don't want to be friends anymore because I don't like you" is hurtful.

To say, "I don't want to be friends because I don't like the way you do things" you risk their response being, "I'll change. I'll do it your way".

Then you're screwed.

And you're building.

To have a "conversation" about why you can't be friends is counter productive. It simply doesn't work.

3. Don't Respond

This is a tough one. You feel like an ass.

I didn't respond to my "ex-friend" for 6 months before she got the message. And it was tough!

When she sent me a holiday card, I almost broke down and called. But in calling, I knew nothing would have changed and I would have to start the break-up all over again...later. So I didn't.

Albert Ellis, a famous American psychologist says, "People could rationally decide that prolonged relationships take up too much time and effort and they'd much rather do other kinds of things. But most people are afraid of rejection."

So true.

It's not easy to divorce your friends. But it can be easier than having to deal with them.

How Falling in Love is Like Having a New Puppy

2008-03-10T13:50:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

The night before Valentine's Day, my husband, Lorenzo, walked up the stairs carrying a small bundle of fur.

Looking up from my computer, I asked, "What's that? Is it stuffed? Is it alive?"

Lorenzo set the "fluff ball" on the floor. It barely moved. I couldn't see his eyes for all the hair.

But I knew. It's a dog.

(OMG!)

I could not believe Lorenzo did that. I could not believe he bought us a new puppy!

(Talk about taking a risk!)

But within the first week, I realized having a new puppy is very much like falling in love.

1. It's Unexpected

Just like talking about falling in love, you never really expect it when it happens. Falling in love is what you'll do someday. When you meet the right person. When you have all your affairs in order. Or after the next trip...

Then you meet him and all your plans go out the window.

I couldn't speak when Lorenzo bought me a dog. We had talked about getting a dog.

Someday.

But here it was. Live. Real. In-person.

Meeting Biscuit wasn't a WOW moment like..."Oh WOW! I'm so excited!" And I'm running around screaming, "Oh WOW!" It was more like, "Oh. Wow. Oh. Wow. Oh. Hell. Oh. Wow."

This is OUR dog.

This is it.

This is what "Love" is?

Oh. Wow.

2. It's Obnoxious

Like a couple kissing and fondling each other in public, not caring who's watching because they're sooooo in love...having a new puppy is just as down right obnoxious.

I've never been one of those "dog people". They're so obnoxious about their animals.

Until now.

Now, I'm an obnoxious "dog person".

And I don't care who sees it.

I want to show "my love" to everyone.

Oh, how happy we are! Isn't he cute? I share stories of our meeting with strangers. (Happy sigh.)

It's obnoxious. It's really. Really. Obnoxious.

3. It's Terrifying

In the beginning, "Love" is so fabulous. It's so new. It's so exciting!

And then you realize you have to live in real life. And "Love" has needs. But you don't know what they are, because you've just met.

You don't know each other at all. You don't know what he's thinking.

And that's when the terror hits.

And just like falling in love, you realize no matter how much you think you're prepared, you're not.

I've entertained the notion of having a dog. I like the idea of a loyal companion accompanying me on my walks. I like the idea of something cute looking up at me. I like the IDEA of having a dog.

But the reality is I know NOTHING about raising a puppy. I have no idea how to take care of it! What if I screw it up?

What if I kill it?

I told Lorenzo he couldn't go back to work until the puppy was an adult. He couldn't leave me alone with Biscuit!

It was terrifying.

(Lorenzo did leave me alone with Biscuit. I'm fine now.) (In case you were wondering.)

4. It's Difficult to Say "NO"

Just like saying "NO" to having sex too soon, it was just as difficult to say "NO" to Biscuit when he wanted to jump on the sofa.

I really, really wanted him to come to me. It would be great to cuddle with him on the sofa, but it was our second day. I had to say "NO".

Jumping on furniture is not a habit I want to encourage.

Friends couldn't belive my willpower. Most of them said, "You'll give in. You can't resist. You'll have to have him with you on your sofa."

But I knew if I let him have his way from the beginning, I'd pay for it in the long-run. I knew he wouldn't respect me.

I knew he'd walk all over me. Spoiled.

And I knew that once I said "YES" it would be very, very difficult to say "NO" again. If ever.

(Okay, I admit...I've let him up a few times, but...not EVERY time!:))

5. It's Work, but It's So Worth It

Like a romantic relationship, having a new puppy is a lot of work.

You have to tend it. It takes time. You have another responsibility in your life. With someone who has their own ideas and opinions about things.

But you're committed. And it's a priority.

With Biscuit, we bathe him, feed him, walk him, poo him, brush him, medicate him and take him to the vet.

And like a typical man, Biscuit is always in our business. He wants to be a part of Everything!

And I love it.

He's so joyful. And playful. And adorable. (Everyone thinks so!)

He's so good. (Everyone says so!)

And soooo sweet. (Everyone loves him!)

(I warned you..."It's Obnoxious!")

And I'm such a Proud Mama. (I've Never heard myself say that before!)

And although I've never experienced childbirth, I imagine holding a new baby must evoked similar sentiments.

Falling in Love...is So Worth It!

Here's to the "Loves" in Your Life!

How to "Date" Your Business Associates

2008-02-27T17:15:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

As a Dating and Relationship Coach, I always advise my single clients to date more than one person at the same time until they're in a committed relationship.

This is a "no-brainer" for my male clients! Men, by nature are built to be polygamous...meaning it's natural for them to have more than one woman.

Not so for women.

By nature, women tend to go "prematurely monogamous". We get "glued" to a guy (especially if we have sex) before a commitment.

So as yucky as it is, it's important for a woman to have the skill set to go against her natural biological tendencies and date more than one man simultaneously in order to find a mate.

But "dating" isn't just for romance...

Recently I hired a new VA (virtual assistant). A virtual assistant is someone who has their own office space and works for clients "virtually" on-line and on the phone.

During the interview process I realized I was "Dating" my candidates.

And I realized this skill set comes in VERY handy for business.

1. Always Interview at Least THREE Candidates Before You Hire Someone (or Take a Job)

In my romantic comedy, DUTY DATING, the heroine dates three men at the same time in order to find a mate. With one, she's over-focused; two is an either/or; only with three can she keep prospective and build her relationship skills.

The same is true in business.

It's best to have at least three candidates to choose from before hiring someone. Or three companies to interview. Gives you more options. And better prospective.

2. Have at Least THREE Interviews Before Making a Decision

Nobody's normal in their first meeting...whether it's a date or a business deal. Everybody's nervous. Everybody's weird. Everybody's trying to impress.

And even though you may feel initial chemistry with someone, it could take at least three meetings for the "real person" to show up.

First impressions (although significant) aren't as important as the second and third ones.

One of my VA candidates made a GREAT first impression. Our first conversation was fantastic! I got off the phone ready to hire her. And if I had, it would have been a tremendous mistake. As great as our first meeting was, she didn't have the qualifications I needed. I didn't discover this until our third conversation.

On the other hand, my first meeting with my new VA, Geri, was frustrating. Her phone was on the blink and kept cutting in and out as we were speaking. I missed much of what she said! But by conversation two and three, she proved to be exactly what I was looking for.

3. Let 'Em Present What They Can Bring to the Table Before You Make a Commitment

A woman needs to see what a man can offer her before making a commitment.

A man needs to see how receptive a woman is to what he has to offer before making a commitment.

And in business, a person needs to see what the candidate can offer to the company (or what the company can offer) in order to make a good decision.

It's important to ask questions, but it's REALLY important to LISTEN!

What is the person or situation really offering? How does that work for you? What kind of relationship do you want? And does that person satisfy your needs or compliment your situation?

4. Prioritize Your List and Shift Status As You Go

Rank your dates and top business candidates as One, Two and Three. Then give it time to see how they shift.

If a guy doesn't call a girl, she'll forget about him and he'll drop down the list.
If a woman isn't available for a man, he'll move on to numbers two and three.

If a business associate doesn't have the chops or isn't punctual, he'll eliminate himself and the qualified candidates will emerge.

This can take time.

In my first interviews with my five VA candidates, they ranked similar. All of them had nice personalities and excellent administrative skills.

So I upped my ante.

I decided to hire a VA who had marketing experience as well. And that's where they started to differentiate. I was fortunate to hire a VA that was best suited to my needs.

So whether you're meeting someone for romance or for a business deal...always "Date" more than one! :)

To Risk or Not To Risk?

2008-02-13T11:15:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

This is a BIG question.

Should I enter this relationship? Should I marry this man? Should I take a new job? Should I move to a different city?

What if I fail? What if I look stupid? What if I loose money? What if I can't survive? (If you're asking this question, it's probably best NOT to take the risk!)

One of the biggest risks I ever took was marrying Lorenzo. I'd already had ONE failed marriage. What if I had another one? What if he were using me as an entrance fee into the US of A?

All these doubts. All these questions.

So was getting married worth the risk?

Yes.

So far.

Being in a romantic relationship with Lorenzo has taken me to much deeper levels of myself. To my greatest joys and my deepest fears.

And it's definitely been worth it.

So how do you determine whether to risk or not to risk?

1. To "Ben Franklin"? Or "Dip-Stick"?

My father always said, "If you have a decision to make, do like Ben Franklin...draw a line down the center of the page. On one side list all the advantages. On the other side list the disadvantages. Then see what you've got.

"Ben Franklin" is a Masculine approach to decision making. The Masculine thinks about the risk and the consequences of the choice then makes a logical, intelligent decision.

The Feminine approach is to "Dip-Stick".

When I was deciding whether or not to marry Lorenzo, Dr. Pat Allen suggested I "dip-stick" my feelings.

If I felt like being married to Lorenzo, I'd put a mark under "Yes". If I didn't, I'd mark "No".

After a week (or two) the "Yes" side won. So we got married. (I bet you thought there was more to it. Non?)

So ladies, draw a line down the page and instead of "advantages" and "disadvantages", write YES or NO. Then check in with your feelings several times a day for a week or so.

Even if both sides start out equally, one side will eventually win over the other.
And the "crazy making" rumination between your head and heart (think, feel, think, feel, think, feel...) will stop.

2. Can You Afford the Price Tag?

If taking the risk didn't work out, would you survive it?

If you lost your investment, your partner or the job, would the experience be worth it? (I'm not talking about just dollars and cents.)

Would the actual experience be worth it? Would you become a "better" person? Could you learn something valuable? Can you afford the loss of NOT doing it?

When you look back on your life, is this a worthy investment of your money, time, energy or life experience?

If the answer is "Yes", do it.

I thought DUTY DATING would lead me to my next film project. It didn't.
But DUTY DATING did lead me to my husband.

And being the "Dating Director". And meeting many of you. And the opportunity of creating another career outside the (brutal) film industry.

I learned A LOT writing, directing and producing a feature film. The experience was invaluable. I would never trade it.

And DUTY DATING was completed and distributed internationally. (Even my in-laws saw it on Italian TV:))

3. What's Your Plan B?

I understand many "risk takers" have no Plan B. They say it's because there is simply NO alternative. Fine. If you gotta have it, you gotta have it, so by all means, go for it. Godspeed.

But for some of us, when unexpectedly Life Happens, it's nice to have Plan B. If something doesn't work out the way you want, there's something to fall back on. Even if the "fall back" isn't exactly your dream.

When I made the decision to move to LA, I wasn't sure if I could handle it. After all, I was raised in a small Tennessee town. (A BIG city for me was Knoxville.)

But I knew if I fell flat on my butt...if I lost everything I had...and ended up broke on the street, I could ALWAYS go home. Back to Kingsport, Tennessee. My parents would take me in. It wasn't my ideal choice (not theirs either). But at least I had a safety net.

And that's a big comfort. It gives me freedom to take risks.

So I advise having Plan B. Not that you'd ever use it. But knowing it's there can offer you alternatives. And peace of mind.

Here's to the Risk Taker in You!

3 Styles of Relationships: Which One is Right For You?

2008-01-23T10:52:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

A year after Lorenzo and I were married, we had a difficult time. No matter how much we loved each other, it seemed we were constantly fighting.

We couldn't agree on anything.

Not only were we challenged with the obvious...he's a man and I'm a woman...we had the added complication of Lorenzo being French/Italian and my being American. (Let's just say...I'm not fluent in French or Italian. And his English was "basic".)

I thought we were just having "communication problems". Wrong.

According to Dr. Pat Allen, we were in two completely different styles of relationships.

You might say I was in a "romantic comedy" and Lorenzo was in a "romantic tragedy". (French/Italians can be soooo dramatic!)

No wonder we weren't getting along!

We weren't even on the same stage! We were "acting" in two very different shows.
Understanding our Style of Relationship saved our marriage!

It's my bet that many couples would stay together longer if they understood they weren't in the same relationship style as each other...AND knew what to do about it!

So what Relationship Style do you prefer? And are you in the same style as your partner?

You have three choices.*

* You can change your relationship styles with days of the week (or hours in a day). The secret is to be in the SAME RELATIONSHIP at the SAME TIME as your partner.

BTW...These Styles of Relationships apply in ALL romantic relationships...Straight, Gay or Lesbian.

1. The Buddy Film

This is a relationship of equality. Both partners share 50/50 percent of the responsibility.

Both partners contribute financially. Both partners contribute to the homemaking.

Both partners want to be respected for their thinking and cherished for their feelings.

Both partners can lead. Both partners can follow. Just not at the same time.

This style of relationship works very well with dual income families, couples without children and couples who have children who have grown and gone. (It also seems to be the preferred style of the "younger generation".)

The secret to keeping romantic intimacy in a "Buddy Film" is to "cross-talk" with your partner.

When one partner wants to be respected for his or her thinking, he/she must ask how their partner feels about it.

The same is true when one partner wants to share feelings. It's best if he/she asks what their partner thinks.

If you tell your partner what you think then ask what he/she thinks...you're striking a business deal.

Sharing feelings to feelings is a friendship.

(Not saying you can't have "business deals" and "friendships" inside of a romantic relationship...there are appropriate moments for sure...just be aware!)

2. Romantic Tragedy

This is the most passionate Style of Relationship. By far the most dramatic.
And it can be a lot of fun.

Until your body gives out and your emotions are crazed.

And you could die.

Seriously. (Remember O.J., anyone?)

A Romantic Tragedy is your classic "co-dependent" relationship. It's often known as "Master/Slave".

It's a relationship style where one partner is respected for his/her thoughts AND feelings. And the other partner gets no vote.

Then the roles change.

"I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you."

You come, you go, you come, you go.

Well...You get the idea.

3. Romantic Comedy

Romantic Comedy is the most intimate Style of Relationship.

It's also the most clumsy.

You're more likely to stumble over your partner's toes.

A Romantic Comedy is like a waltz. It's a relationship with one designated leader and one designated follower.

In DUTY DATING, I used the example of one designated driver and one designated passenger.

The driver of the relationship is respected for his/her thoughts.

The passenger is cherished for her/his feelings.

The driver makes the plan. The passenger expresses how she/he feels about it.*

* The power of the passenger is the "Veto" vote. When anything doesn't feel good or is illegal, immoral or unethical, the passenger can say "NO WAY".

REMEMBER: If you have two drivers in a relationship, you'll fight over the wheel. If you have two passengers, you'll never get anywhere.

So you gotta decide.

Which Style of Relationship is Right For You?

7 Essential Habits for Loving Your Life

2008-01-13T10:45:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

Last summer I received an e-mail from my cousin titled, "5 Essential Habits to Protect Your Most Essential Commodity...YOU." (The author wasn't mentioned, although they referenced the Girl Scouts.)

At the time, I was "releasing a toleration" in my life and this article hit home. It validated my decision to end a long-term friendship that was no longer working.

Although I've embellished the article (and added 2 habits of my own) the premise of this message is clear...YOU are your most valuable commodity. You need to invest in it and protect it.

And be in the habit of Loving Your Life.

1. Take Care of YOU First.

Always. No matter what. No excuses.

If you do something for someone else without taking care of yourself first, you'll resent it. And you'll end up punishing yourself.

Workout. Eat well. Relax. Take care of your body. Take time out. Keep away from toxic people and toxic situations. If you don't feel good, you aren't good...for anybody. Most importantly...for yourself.

REMEMBER: The Feminine mantra is: "I FEEL Good to DO good."

Masculine is the opposite: "I DO Good to FEEL Good."

2. Don't Do Everything Alone.

It's exhausting. It's overwhelming. It's usually not worth it.

And it's impossible.

Ask for help. Find support. Delegate. Or simply don't do it.

If you're overworked and overwhelmed, you're not good for anybody...most importantly...yourself. (Sound familiar?)

(Good. You're gettin' it!)

3. Learn to Say "NO".

I can NEVER say this enough! The power of the feminine comes from saying "NO" to anything that is immoral, illegal or unethical.

It is also saying "NO" to anything that doesn't FEEL good.

"No. I don't feel like working this hard."

"No. I don't feel like picking up after Your mess."

"No. I don't want to go out because I feel tired."

I don't know why saying "NO" is soooooo hard for many of us. But saying "NO" can often support the greater good of "yes".

Saying "NO" to other people's requests helps us achieve our more important goals...specifically taking care of ourselves.

Believe me. It's okay. You will still be loved when you say "NO" because you simply can't (or won't) do it all.

4. Prioritize.

Know what's important. And more importantly...what's NOT.

If it doesn't fit with your passion, values and goals, don't do it.

No matter what.

Someone else will do it (if it really needs to be done) and everything will be just fine. I promise.

5. Accept. Reject. But NEVER TOLERATE.

Accept a person or a situation for who or what it is. Or walk away from it.

NEVER tolerate a person or situation. NEVER. Toleration will hurt you. It will destroy the relationship anyway. And it can make you sick.

Tolerations are the things that you "put up" with. Incomplete decisions. Negative people. Broken agreements. Petty annoyances. Irritants.

Basically, everything that gets on your nerves is toleration.

Get rid of your tolerations. Or make a plan to accept them.

6. Go Where You're Wanted

People who need people are lucky people.

People who want people who don't want them are unworthy people.

Stay away from people and places where you don't feel wanted. Or appreciated. Or acknowledged.

Life is so much easier when you put yourself with people and in situations where you're wanted.

People who like you and want you will make you feel good. Go with them. Godspeed.

7. Talk Less. Listen More.

(This is a really hard one.) But talking is exhausting.

It's easier to listen. You don't work so hard. And you learn things.

When you listen you can see the person for who he is. You can see what he has to offer. You can see what he doesn't.

Masculine men appreciate women who listen...so listen up, girls! Show him respect by appreciating his ideas and what he gives you.

Your rewards will be enormous.

In more ways than you can imagine.

Believe me.:)

The "Love Life" Diet: 6 Ways to Look Great & Maintain Your Weight

2007-12-30T18:31:00.001-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

I love it when people tell me, "You're so lucky. You've never had a weight problem."

Ha! Little do they know!

I struggled with diets and weight gain for YEARS! I've been on Weight Watchers, Nutri-system, Jenny Craig, the Hotdog diet, the Grapefruit diet, the Cabbage diet...to name a FEW! Some of them worked...for a while. Most of them made me crazy!

Although I'll never be a "skinny minny", I have grown to respect my body (most of the time). And even though I am not a "diet and nutrition expert", I've discovered 6 non-obsessive ways to feel great and maintain a comfortable body weight.

I call it the "Love Life" Diet.

1. Throw Away Your Scale

Your weight is a useless piece of data. Muscle weighs more than fat anyway. And just because you're "skinnier" doesn't mean you're "healthier".

Now...the thought of tossing your scale may freak you out! (It did me at first.)

I'd been slave to that flat piece of metal since my adolescence. (One Christmas I came home from college after gaining 30 pounds my first semester freshman year. My father threw me on the bathroom scale so I could "put my weight before me". Talk about horrifying!) (And embarrassing!)

But still...throwing away my scale was one of the scariest things I've ever done. How would I hold myself accountable? I didn't trust my body. I worried that I'd blow up to be the size of the Goodyear Blimp.

But I did it. I took the risk. I tossed that bloody scale. And I've never looked back. (In fact, when I go to the doctor's office, I turn my back when getting on the scale and WARN the assistant not to utter my tonnage, lest risk my wrath!)

I don't know my weight and I don't care. My clothes tell me when I'm puffy or thin. And I've stopped the insanity of "weighing in" on the almighty scale.

2. Express Your Feelings, Don't Stuff Them Down

Learning how to communicate your feelings in a logical rational way may be the best "Love Life" diet tip. When you're able to express your feelings, you're less likely to stuff down your emotions with food (or other substances).

It's soooooo important to be able to say what you want or what you think. Or express what you don't want or feel uncomfortable with. Even at the risk of making someone upset with you.

If you can't risk hurting someone else's feelings, you risk hurting yourself.

What your mind can't assimilate (understand) and your mouth can't articulate (say), your body will demonstrate (gaining weight).

And weight gain isn't the only price tag. Your physical, mental and emotional health will pay dearly too.

3. Listen to Your Body

Eat when you're hungry. Stop when you're full. Your body will let you know what it wants and how much.

Your body will tell you when it needs to relax or needs to move. It will tell you when it feels well and when it doesn't.

Your body knows what it craves, but often your head argues. Your "old habits" get in the way by telling you what you "should" do.

Does this sound familiar?

Body: "Ice cream."
Head: "You can't have ice cream."
Body: "Chocolate."
Head: "You're too fat."
And on and on and on...

If your body craves ice cream, eat it. Enjoy it. Stop the madness and deprivation in your head. It's just ice cream! One scoop isn't going to make you fat. (The whole carton might.)

I appreciate it takes a huge leap of faith to listen to your body over what your head thinks. (Or what someone else thinks.) But once you REALLY start paying attention to Your Body and eating what It wants, you'll never go back to "dieting" again.

4. Eat "WOW" Foods

I have two categories for food: "WOW" Food and "Filler" Food.

"WOW" food is great food! (1) Your body craves it and is so satisfied when it eats it or (2) the food is SOOOOO good that it doesn't matter if you eat more. It's worth paying the price!

"Filler" food is just that. It's food that fills you up when you're hungry. "Filler" food is fuel. It gives you energy. "Filler" food is easier to say "no" to when you're full.

I do my best to eat "WOW" food...because I hate wasting stomach space with "filler" food. When I satisfy my cravings, I feel better. I don't obsess and I'm not deprived.

It cracks me up when a friend comments on the dessert tray..."Oh, that looks so good, but I can't eat it. It's too fattening."
Well...yes. And no. Who says you have to eat the whole thing? Personally, I'd rather have a few bites of a fabulous "WOW" than a whole lot of "low fat filler" that tastes like crap.

I don't know how it works, but eating real "WOW" food...no matter how "fattening" it is...fills me up quicker and satisfies me more without the weight gain.

5. Don't Panic If You Gain a Few Pounds

Like tides of the sea, weight comes and goes. DON'T PANIC if you start to feel yourself getting a little heavier!
Years ago, I beat myself up if I gained weight. I punished my body by starving or eating yucky "health" food that I hated. I gave myself mental bashings about how unworthy I was or undisciplined or fat.

The result: I gained more weight.

Not any more!

Now, when I notice myself eating more...and my clothes are getting tighter...and I feel that extra "pudge" around my waist...
I say to myself, "Cherry, you're eating too much. What's going on? Is there something stressing you out? Something you need to say? Or do you just need to control your portion size (or stop drinking wine for a while)? Do you really WANT that second piece of pie? How's it going to feel after you eat it?"

If I reeeaaaalllly want it, I eat it. But I'm used to my body telling me when it's full and I can always have it LATER if I don't eat it now.

That's a big key...knowing you aren't depriving yourself. That you can have ANYTHING you want...as long as your body tells you it's hungry.

6. Move Your Butt!

If you think "exercise is boring" or "don't have time", you haven't found the "WOW" of exercise.

Getting in the habit of moving your body is one of the best things you'll ever do for yourself.

Good Morning America recently said, "If you walk 30 minutes, five days a week, you will extend your life. (I forget for how many years.) (Sorry.) Walking is easy and cheap and the payoffs are enormous!

I combine walking with The Bar Method because I like the toning, strengthening and flexibility the class offers. (Plus the music is great and the teachers are cute!)

Like any habit, starting to exercise can take a couple months to integrate into your routine. I don't need to preach to you about the benefits of exercise. You already know it helps your heart, gives you a glowing complexion and decreases your appetite.

For me, exercise feels great. I'm not one of those "gotta get results" people (although I do look better by doing it). If I don't feel high energy during my class or walk, I don't push it. Just showing up and doing it is good enough for me. I listen to my body and it tells me how hard it wants to work.

So get up and move! Believe me, your butt will thank you!

How to Love Life & Look Good Through the Holidays!

2007-12-11T16:43:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

I am a holiday person. Always have been. Christmas was a big deal in our family. (And I'm a December baby, thus twice the fun.)

Mother was (and still is) a big Christmas person. She relishes in the ceremony of decorating the house, buying the perfect gifts, planning our Christmas Eve dinner, attending the candlelight service and celebrating with ALL our family...cousins, aunts and uncles.

My sister, Laura, is a "keep it simple" person, but I'm like Mother. I like my home to look festive. I love decorating the tree. I enjoy planning a cocktail party or sit down dinner. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE wrapping gifts. (I do Not love writing Christmas cards, however I do love receiving them!)

I appreciate not everyone relishes in celebrating the holidays. There are years when I've taken "time off" and not had a tree or hosted a party, but I do my best to celebrate the season in some way.

Regardless of where you are or what you're doing in this "time of cheer", here are 5 gift ideas you can give yourself as well as others.

1. Give Presence

How you show up, how you enter a room, whether it's on a date or attending a party, can determine the level of success (or lack of success) for your evening.

Giving presence is doing your best to look good, feel good, taste good, smell good and sound good when you're going out.

Wear something you feel GREAT in! Take an exercise class after work or listen to soothing music while driving. If possible, take a bath or a quick nap before going out. (When I'm short on time, I brush my teeth for instant refreshment.)

When you're out, Speak Respectfully. Even if you don't agree with what someone says, giving him the courtesy of listening is giving presence to the moment.

(BTW...Giving presents are nice too.:))

2. Give Back

This "gift" is especially important for all you "feminine" ladies who LOVE giving to your men! Whether it's a phone call or a card or a gift...I can't stress enough that if you want to keep your man in a position of Respect, DO NOT give as much as he does. I repeat...DO NOT!

If you give equally, you risk neutralizing the relationship. If you give more, he's indebted to you and that's not a price tag he's gonna wanna pay...Nor YOU! You risk becoming "big mama" and he will NEVER live up to your expectations! Ever!

NEWS FLASH: Men typically don't have the "heart warming fuzzies" women feel around the holidays. You may think it's important you get him that nice gift or send him a card, but unless he gives first, I don't advise it.

(ONE Exception: If you want to take a risk on "jump starting" a new relationship with a man you haven't heard from in the past two months, send him a card and see if you hear from him. If you don't, move on. He's gone.)

Giving back a little less may make you feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. Believe me...a masculine man will always feel better about giving more to his feminine woman.*

* Ladies, if you want to be the more generous giver, then by all means, give more. It's your choice. Just be conscious of your "role". Masculine "givers" are usually with feminine "receivers" in EVERY romantic relationship...regardless of gender.

3. Give a Smile

Smiles are easy and cheap. And smiles make you look good. Like the song says, "You're never fully dressed without a smile". So don't leave home without one!

The funny thing about a smile is, even when you don't feel like smiling, when you do it, it makes you feel better. Try it. Push up the corners of your mouth (use your fingers if necessary) and see what happens.

Nothing? Do it again.

And again.

Once more...

Starting to feel it? Good. Keep it on! :)

4. Give a Compliment

My father used to say, "Give three sincere compliments a day and people will like you and remember you."

My husband tells me daily how beautiful I look...even without my make-up. (Gasp!)

Lorenzo also tells the women he works with, "Que bella...how beautiful you are." (Yes, yes, he's a charmer.) More than that, Lorenzo knows that compliments make the women feel better and in return they like and respect him. And that makes him look good and feel good!

Give compliments of appreciation when someone does something nice for you. Appreciate the date that takes you to a concert or a friend who invites you to a party. Thank the busboy that filled your water glass or the security guard who held the door open to the store.

People feel good when they're acknowledged and that's You giving a great gift.

5. Give Thanks

It's a cliche expression because it works. If you're thankful for what you have...you'll feel much more comfortable than focusing on what you don't have.

(I'd love to have a second home in Aspen and a private jet to fly us there. Focusing on it makes me depressed.)

Instead, I'm thankful to have my survival needs met. I'm thankful for my husband (that I worked looooonnnnngggg and hard to have). I'm thankful for my family (they're not perfect people, but there's a lot of love). I have my health. I have my faith. I have creative outlets, my friends, etc... I'm thankful every day.

I appreciate your frustration if you're single and want a relationship...especially during the holidays. It's the time of year when it seems like every ad or TV show promotes lovers and families warmly celebrating together and everybody has somebody but you! It's not true...but that's what sells.

Everybody has his or her stuff. EVERYBODY. By focusing on what you don't have, you're more likely to attract more of that...what you don't have. Focus instead on what you do have and be grateful for the relationship (or money or whatever) that's coming into your life.

A great story about "giving thanks" involves my friend, Lisa.

Six months ago, Lisa had an accident leaving her paralyzed from the waist down. The doctors said it was uncertain she would ever walk again. Lisa has not given up. Since May, her road to recovery has been slow and painful. Now she's walking (with help) and she's driving (with hand gears) and more importantly, she's grateful.

For what? You may ask.

Many of us would cry and complain in this situation.

Not Lisa. Lisa feels blessed. Lisa feels grateful for her Mother (who moved in to help for four months) and for her friends (who've cleaned her house). She appreciates having to "slow down" after working 30 years in the TV industry. Now Lisa has time to enjoy her home, her animals and nap when she's tired. She's just starting back to work in her new home office. And she continues to give thanks.

Lisa is an inspiration.

So this Holiday Season, may you Love Life and Look Good with the many gifts you give and receive.

3 Simple Steps to Getting Your Needs Met

2007-11-30T14:16:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

Last week, Lorenzo and I attended our neighbor's surprise birthday party.

Over a glass of Prosecco (our favorite Italian sparkling wine...yum!), Linda, the birthday girl, told me of a wedding shower she is giving for her friend's daughter in January. As an "entertaining aficionado", Linda thrives on party planning and is a great host. She was planning a sit down dinner around our pool.

Beautiful. Romantic. Right? WRONG.

Three more "friends" want to help host Linda's shower. Each "friend" brought a different vision (and a different price tag) for the party.

One changed the location. One redesigned the invite. One ordered fabric to make a quilted Jewish hoopa (a canopy for the bride and groom)...and since she's leaving town, Linda's left sewing it together. (Linda's not Jewish.) (Not that it matters.)

Linda didn't know what to do (or say) to the "friends" who redesigned her shower. Now she's feeling stuck, overwhelmed and responsible for a party she's no longer in control of.

What started as a celebration of love has turned into a collaboration of disagreements, mixed agendas and impositions on Linda.

But what can she do?

Here are three choices:

1. First, Linda can accept she's no longer in control and she's willing to do whatever it takes to get through the party...and swear she'll NEVER do it again. Right.

HELLO! If Linda doesn't get what to do now, you can bet she'll find herself in this situation again. (And again.) (And again.)

2. Second, Linda can take a stand for what she will or will not do.

3. Third, Linda can "tolerate" it. If Linda chooses to tolerate the situation, she risks getting sick or feeling resentful. Or both. (Not the best choice.)

Let's say Linda gathers her courage and decides not to make the hoopa. She takes a risk on Getting her Needs Met (so she might actually enjoy the party).
What she does is: "Caress, Express and Address"

1. Caress

My Aunt Nancy used to say, "If you want to give someone a criticism, start with a compliment."

Dr. Pat Allen calls it a "stroke".

I say, "Caress" (because it rhymes with Express & Address:))

When you "caress" someone, you're giving the person the right to be a human being and doing things their way...even if You think it's wrong. Everybody has a right to be wrong. (Yes, even him) (So does she) (Yes, I know.)

Start with something like, "You have every right to do this, be that, have whatever or say what you just did..." Or give them a compliment like, "I think you're great, your ideas are interesting, etc..."

Linda could say, "I appreciate your idea for a hoopa..."

2. Express

Then "Express" what you want or don't want.

Say what you think. Or express what you don't feel uncomfortable with.

Use phrases like, "I want that, I see it like this, I don't feel the same way, I feel disrespected when you're late, etc..."

Linda can express, "I don't want the responsibility of making the hoopa while you're away."

3. Address

Then "Address" it. Deal with the problem between you by making an agreement. If an agreement cannot be reached, a "Price Tag" must be determined.

In other words, what is the cost of a non-negotiable or a broken agreement? (Generally a non-negotiable is just that. It cannot be negotiated. So you either agree to disagree or it's the end of the relationship.)

Ask something like, "How do you feel about re-scheduling? What do you think about not doing that behavior when you're around me?" Or state the cost for a broken agreement, "I will not be here if you're late again, etc..."

Linda could say, "You'll need to find someone else to make the hoopa because I'm doing the table arrangements."

"Price Tag" for Linda's not making the hoopa: There may be no hoopa. (Not Linda's problem now, is it?) If the "friend" wants a hoopa, she'll find another way to make it.

Yes, Linda risks the "friend" getting upset, but what is Linda's "Price Tag" for agreeing to do something she doesn't want to do? Resentment. Anger. Feeling sick. Or worse...

If Linda states her terms and her "friend" accepts it, they've reached a greater understanding and respect of each other...thus deepening their relationship.

"Caressing, Expressing and Addressing" allows you to make an agreement with your date, partner or friend and take your relationship to a deeper, more intimate level. (If an agreement is broken, it doesn't mean the relationship is over. Simply make a new agreement and do your best to honor it.)

Remember...the only way we know we love ourselves and others is by the agreements we make and are willing to keep.

For more coaching in "Getting Your Needs Met" in Romantic Relationships order The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Romantic Relationship CD series.

How to Clean Up After Your Break Up

2007-11-15T15:59:00.000-08:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

It's over. They're gone. Your heart is broken. The dream is shattered. Crushed. You turn to your friends for solace. Or self-help books. Or religion. Or pints of Hagen Daas. Or booze.

But NOTHING helps. NOTHING fills the void.

And it isn't pretty. In fact, it's dark. Definitely not the lighter side of life.
So what can you do? How can you pick up and clean up and remove this unending pain?

1. Know You're Not Alone

We've all been there. We've all suffered loss. Most of us have invested in a relationship that didn't meet our expectations or didn't work out the way we planned.

NEWS FLASH: Half the marriages in America end in divorce. (Like my first marriage.)

I've had more "failed" relationships than I've had "successful" ones. I've had more men break my heart than I've broken bread sticks over the last twenty years. And guess what? I'm still here. I didn't die. (Although I felt like I could have at times!)

After every heartbreak I swear I'll never love again. I swear I'll never allow myself to be hurt again. It's tooooo painful. I'm toooooo vulnerable. And guess what?

Like a fool, I do it again.

But here's the thing...I've learned more about myself with every encounter. Each man I've dated has brought me more understanding of who I am as a human and spiritual being. My past relationships prepared me for the wonderful marriage I have today. Without these experiences, I may not have found (much less appreciated) my husband.

2. If You're the One Left Behind...Congratulations!

Dr. Pat Allen says, "He/She who leaves the relationship first is destined to repeat same karma. He/She who stays until lesson is learned moves to next better mate."
If your partner left prematurely, YOU move to "next higher place".

How do you know when your relationship (this lesson) is over?

When you feel nothing. When ALL the energy is gone. When there's nothing left but apathy and empathy. (When you can't watch them chew, it's REALLY over.)

* The one exception to leaving first is if you are being physically or emotionally abused. RUN, don't walk. Get out ASAP!

3. You Cannot Be "Friends" With Your "Ex" Until You Both Have New Partners.

Often during a break-up, couples will want to remain "friends".

NOT a great idea.

The sooner you "de-bond" with your "ex", the sooner you'll heal and meet someone new.

If you're a woman who's been left by a man and he keeps "circling" back where you can still smell him...BEWARE! His presence isn't doing you any favors. He's keeping you physically glued.

Ever heard of oxytocin? It's a hormone in your body that triggers every time you smell, taste or touch him. Like a drug it will keep you physically addicted. Your mind will say, "no, no, no", but you're body keeps you engaged. If your "ex" wants to be "friends", say, "No, thanks!" and walk away.

4. Get Out There and "Duty Date"

Break-ups take time. It's part of the process.

But you can help yourself heal quicker by going back out into the market...even if you don't FEEL like it. Start "Duty Dating". (The film is a great motivator to get you going.:))

Yes, it's horrible. No one will look good to you. You'll be repulsed by everyone you meet. But do it anyway.

Act as if you're enjoying it. Fake it until you find yourself receptive to meeting someone new. It isn't easy, but it's the quickest way to heal a broken heart.

5. You're the Star of Your Relationship

Put yourself in a position of power by allowing your dates to demonstrate what they can do for you. What can they offer that will make your life better? What can they do for you that you can't do for yourself? Give yourself more choices.

Think of Scarlet O'Hara at the picnic. Attract as many beaus (or belles) as possible. Take the opportunity to learn what you like or dislike in a mate.

Who are you with that person? Are you having fun? Is he a generous, protective and cherishing man? Is she an available, receptive and respecting woman?

6. Take Care of You

Be kind. Stop blaming yourself. Do things that make you feel good. Take bubble baths or long walks. Get a massage. Enjoy your friends. Exercise. Take care of your body.

Break-ups are challenging. But ending a relationship can better prepare you for the next one by helping you know what you want (or don't want). The good news is you have a new opportunity to create something different with someone new.

The down side is...it's not easy. It takes time to heal. It's normal to feel scared or uncomfortable as you put yourself back out there.

But remember, you're not alone. We've all been there.

What To Do (or Not Do) In Your First Encounter...So You Don't Blow It!

2007-10-30T17:26:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

There's a lot of advice suggesting people need to be brave enough to speak first with someone they find cute and interesting.

Not a clever idea. Why is that?

Because you don't know if the person you've approached is really interested in YOU! They may just be acting polite.

So how can you tell if someone you find interesting is interested in you?

1. Signal the One You Want by Looking in Their Eyes and Smiling for FIVE Seconds

Yes, I know this is tough. But it's important! You need to signal the one you're interested in by getting in their eyeballs and holding the look long enough to see if they're interested, available or safe.

Eyes are the windows to the soul.

Generally people who approach others without being signaled are drunk or nerds. So signal the one you want by smiling for five seconds. Three seconds is polite; Four isn't enough; Five gets attention.

(If your lip gets stuck on your tooth or the saliva in your mouth falls to your armpits while smiling, don't panic. It's normal.)

2. Understand the Power of Speaking First

Very often a woman will start a conversation with a man she's interested in and then feel disappointed when he doesn't ask for her phone number. There's a reason for that.

If a woman speaks first, the man will respect her. He'll think, "God, she's brave. She spoke first. I can relax. I can sit back while she does all the work."

Ladies, speaking first establishes you to be the primary initiator and sets up you chasing him.

3. There Are NO Bad Pick-Up Lines

Whoever speaks first is the leader. Gentlemen, if you want to earn a woman's respect, be brave enough to approach her and say SOMETHING. Anything. Whatever. It doesn't matter how stupid you sound.

There are No bad pick-up lines when you've been signaled and are courageous enough to walk across the room.

You don't have to be clever. Be yourself. The simpler, the better. Say something like "hello" and introduce yourself.

4. Follow The Leader

Ladies, if someone you've signaled approaches you and speaks, be open and receptive to what he's saying.

Ignore his awkwardness and follow his lead. Listen and let him present. Let him impress you with his qualifications, not the other way around. Answer a man's questions simply and respectfully. You don't need to perform.

5. If You're The Leader, Ask For What You Want!

Gentlemen, if you meet a lady and you want her number, offer her a plan and ask how she feels about it. It could be as simple as "I'd like to take you for coffee. How do you feel about it?" If she's receptive, then ask for her number and see if she's comfortable giving it to you.

Whatever you do...Don't give her your card and ask her to call! She probably WON'T.

Ladies, if a man you're interested in gives you his card and you want him to call...Turn the card over, write your number (or e-mail) and hand it back to him. (If you're not interested, take his card and simply say, "thank you".)

How to Say "No"...After You've Said "Yes"

2007-10-18T12:38:00.000-07:00

By Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

Last week I felt terrible. I'd made plans with my client/friend LeeAnn to go to Chicago to decorate her new apartment.

I was so excited. I love being flown to Chicago to shop with someone else's money. Definitely ALL over that!

The two weeks prior to my trip were chocked full. My mother-in-law was visiting from Italy. I shot a TV pilot. I spent a week in North Carolina. I co-hosted a friend's Birthday Tea in our home. We went to parties. We've had back-to-back company. I've barely seen my husband in a month. And now I need to fly to Chicago (with the rest of LeeAnn's stuff!) IT'S TOO MUCH!

But I can't say "No"!

Can I? I mean...I committed to Chicago. I have to go. What about the ticket? What about LeeAnn's disappointment? What about her stuff? But....What about Me? I'm exhausted. I haven't slept in three nights. I don't want to go to Chicago feeling tired and resentful. And I HATE leaving my husband...again! Crap! What am I gonna do?

Have you ever said "yes" when you need to say "no"?

Even if you WANT to do something! (If it's a big ol' SHOULD or you're simply AFRAID to say "no", same rules apply.)

I"m a big supporter of contracts and agreements. Dr. Pat Allen says, "Making and keeping commitments is how we know we truly love ourselves and others."

So the first question to ask yourself is: "Who is my commitment to?"

If you're a Feminine ingenue...

1. Your First Commitment is to Yourself

Feminine energies create off feelings. So if you FEEL like you've gotten yourself IN to something you need to get OUT of...consider this:

Taking care of yourself is your first responsibility.

As difficult as it was to call LeeAnn and say, "No, I'm not coming", it would have been more difficult to go. I would not have been the person I wanted to be in Chicago at that time. And we BOTH would have paid for it.

2. Sometimes We Need to Say "Yes" to Better Understand Our "No's"

I'm always searching for the "pendulum" balance. Often I find my pendulum needs to swing past my comfort level before I recognize where my balance is. (This can be in ANY scenario... like, I've eaten too many donuts or I've had sex too soon and need to step back)

In this case, I'd over-estimated myself. I thought I could "love life" doing EVERYTHING I wanted and still feel good. I couldn't. I had to say "No".

When you have to say "No", set up a conversation with the other person. Start with, "there's something I need to speak to you about. Is now a good time?" (Hopefully they'll say "yes"...if not, arrange another time.)

3. It's Not About Them, It's About YOU!

Let them know it's not personal.

Tell them, "I love you; I think you're great; you're doing everything right, etc...but there's something I need to do...and that is cancel, reschedule or break the commitment."

4. Don't Make Excuses...Speak From the Heart

Come from the heart and speak truthfully. (They'll know if you're lying anyway!) My experience is that people don't argue with the truth. They may not like it. They may try to change your mind. But they don't argue with it.

Say something like, "I know I agreed to (do this, have that, be whatever) but I'm not able to do it because I've (over-committed, under-estimated myself or it doesn't FEEL right.)"

5. No Favor Goes Unpunished

If you do it anyway, you'll pay for it. You'll resent them. Or punish them (or worse, punish yourself) in a negative, inappropriate and destructive way. It's called "passive/aggressive behavior". (And don't act like you've never done it. You're not THAT holy.)

As bad as I felt about disappointing LeeAnn, I told her I couldn't be the person I wanted to be in Chicago and I needed to re-schedule.

By being honest with yourself and saying, "no" to others, you spare them from your wrath. And that's being kind and loving.

6. Love Them, but Love Yourself More

The Feminine mantras are "I do for me for you" and "I FEEL good to DO good."

(Affirm these mantras daily, girls!)

A self-centered feminine ingenue is balanced, anchored and gets what she wants by knowing what she doesn't want. And that means knowing how to say "No".

Selfish people only care about what they want and not about anyone else. Self-less women give to others before their own needs. NEWS FLASH...Masculine men do NOT fall in love with Women who GIVE too much! (Yes, really!)

Although this isn't a "romantic" story, it is about relationships. In healthy relationships (friendship, family, work or romance) there are boundaries and there are times to say "no"...not only for the betterment of yourself, but for the relationship as well.

BTW...Later, LeeAnn admitted it was fine I didn't join her because she's met so many new people...including a new man! Now that's a happy ending!

4 Roles in Relationships...Which One Are You?

2007-10-07T14:40:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

Are you having difficulty finding what you're looking for in a romantic relationship? Perhaps you're in a relationship, but you're not getting your needs met. Before blaming your partner or giving up (thinking there's no one out there for you), you may want to take a good look at your role in relationships and what it is you're attracting.

1. The Masculine "Hero"

As men and women, it's normal to compete in sports, in business or in school. We're taught it's appropriate to go out and get what we want in the world. We're rewarded for producing. We're rewarded for thinking. We're compensated for performance. That's all good.

But, do you compete in your romantic relationships?

A masculine "hero" is the partner who knows what "he" wants and goes out to get it. "He" gives, protects and cherishes other's feelings. Women are "heroes" when they are nurturing and mothering. Nurturing and mothering are masculine skills (shocking, but true). Masculine "heroes" think, act, and problem-solve. They are "neck up" people. Mental. Male. Money.

Many times romantic relationships end up going competitive because there are two too many masculine "heroes" at play.

2. The Feminine "Ingénue"

"Feminine" is often confused with "passive". Feminine energy is not passive. The feminine "ingénue" is a potent, powerful energy, but operates very differently from the masculine "hero".

A feminine "ingénue" gets what she wants by knowing what she doesn't want. Ingénues receive, are available and are open to ideas and suggestions. Feminine ingénues respect heroic masculine leaders.

The feminine mantra is "yes, thank you, please" and saying "NO" to anything that is immoral, unethical or illegal.

Feminine "ingénues" are feeling oriented. If it feels good, they do it. They receive and give back in appreciation. They are "neck down" people. Feeling. Physical. In the body.

Unlike masculine "heroes' who go competitive in wanting to achieve and win, feminine "ingénues" go competitive with feelings. I call this, "who's the better girl?" syndrome. (Often it's the man.:))

3. The Narcissistic "Master"

If there is such a thing as a "healthy narcissist", it would have to be a single person. "What do I want to do? What do I feel like eating? I have to pay my bills. I don't feel like going out tonight." A single person's role is to act on their thoughts and take care of their feelings.

In a relationship, the role of a narcissistic "master" goes to the one partner who gets his (or her) thoughts respected AND his (or her) feelings cherished.

The narcissist plays both masculine "hero" and feminine "ingénue" roles in a relationship leaving very little (if any) room for the poor, unworthy, unfortunate...

4. The Doormat "Slave"

The doormat "slave" position has no voice. The doormat "slave's" only role is to serve their super egotistical narcissistic partner.

The doormat slave respects his (or her) partner's thoughts and cherishes his (or her) feelings and is seldom rewarded or acknowledged for their own needs.

When a doormat slave is noticed, it's usually to be kicked or walked upon. Often when the doormat "slave" has incorrectly "mind read" the wants or needs of their "master" partner or has done something "displeasing", disaster can occur. (Remember O.J., anyone?)

7 Secrets to a Successful Relationship

2007-10-07T08:38:00.000-07:00

by Cherry Norris, "The Dating Director"

Whether you're looking for romance or are already in a relationship, the 7 secrets below are essential in having a healthy, intimate, romantic relationship. If you're interested in getting great results, demystifying the dating process, and being the best you can be in a relationship, you've come to the right place.

1. Understand Your Role in a Relationship

There are two roles in an intimate romantic relationship. One is the masculine. The other is the feminine. Masculine people get what they want by asking and going for it. Feminine energies get what they want by honoring their feelings and saying "no" to what they don't want.

In my film, DUTY DATING, I call these roles passengers and drivers. If you have two drivers, you'll fight over the wheel. If you have two passengers, you'll never get anywhere. So pick one and stick with it for at least the first two months. This way when your relationship goes off track (and believe me, it will) you can go back to your original "role" and get back on course.

2. Commit to the Relationship, Not the Person

Do your part and hope your partner does theirs. People are imperfect human beings. We all screw up. Therefore, commit to the relationship and not your partner. Your partner will disappoint you at times. (Sad, but true) So it's a good idea to have at least two reasons to stay in the relationship when you want to "kill 'em".

When I find myself asking, "What the (blank) was I thinking when I married this jerk?" I remember that Lorenzo cooks and I get free French and Italian lessons. For me, that's good value.

3. If he/she is 51%...Keep them

You're probably thinking, "Wow. That's low." I hope you find someone who's greater than 51%, but are days when your partner won't rate a zero! (Hopefully those days are few!) In the overall package, if your partner is more "good" than "bad", you've got a good deal. Recognize it and appreciate it.

4. Never "Trust" Anyone

People are SHOCKED when I tell them I don't trust my husband. And it's true, I don't. (In fact, I don't trust anyone.) My husband is human and humans say one thing, then turn around and do something different. (You know, like "I'm going to get in shape." Then a month later, you still haven't gotten to the gym.)

What I do is "take a risk" on my husband and have faith he'll do what he says he's going to do. As we keep our agreements to each other, we build a "trustworthy" relationship over time.

5. Conflict Builds Intimacy

Never be in relationship with anyone you don't want to fight with, otherwise you risk building. It is through conflict and disagreement that we give ourselves the opportunity to understand more of the other person's point of view.

My husband and I come from two different cultures. Our world-views often clash. Believe me, we've had MANY opportunities to build intimacy throughout our relationship! So don't be afraid of conflict. In fact, making up can be fantastic!

6. Give Your Partner the "Right" to be "Wrong"

Communication is often the biggest key to relationship success. When you disagree, let your partner know that he/she has every right to think, feel, behave, react, etc. the way they do. Then express your feelings or thoughts about why you don't agree. Finally, negotiate an agreement with each other of what you will (or won't) accept. If you can't reach an agreement, recognize you may be done.

7. Stay As Long As the Love Shall Last

Knowing when to leave a relationship is as valuable as knowing how to stay. If you can't make and keep agreements or you're in a relationship that is physically or verbally abusive, get out a.s.a.p.! Traditional wedding vows have couples staying "until death do us part".

At our wedding ceremony, I said, "I'll stay as long as the love shall last". (The justice marrying us almost dropped his book!) What I meant was, I'll stay until the death of our relationship. Whether it's physical death or the death of our love. I will stay as long as there's "energy" on our relationship. If it turns to apathy and empathy, time to go.

Cherry Norris' Very First Blog

2007-08-05T17:58:00.000-07:00

Hello!

My name is Cherry Norris. I've been known as The Dating Director for the past few years and I help single people to have the romantic relationship they desire.

I originally moved to Los Angeles to become a filmmaker. Yes, I admit, it's a bit cliche...but who among us hasn't had dreams?

So after years of studying the craft of filmmaking, I wrote, directed and produced the romantic comedy, DUTY DATING, about a woman, who on the advice of a love doctor does all the right things to marry the wrong man.

Here's the "one sheet" of the film. It really is a cute movie and more importantly has tons of great information on how relationships really work. I wish I'd had this information in my teens! It would have saved me many, many, many hours of time and frustration weeping over the wrong men!

The film is based on the teachings of Dr. Pat Allen, author of "Getting to 'I Do'." Pat is a licensed therapist who dramatically changed the way I operate with men and ultimately taught me how to love myself and stop working so hard to get what I wanted. Not easy work, but totally worth it!

After making the film, I used what I learned about relationships to marry my husband, Lorenzo. Here we are on our wedding day, September 21, 2002, in Cortina d'Ampazzo, Italy.

After Lorenzo and I married, I started teaching live Dating Director workshops in Los Angeles. The workshops are very interactive. Men and women create the relationship they want, then practice with each other so they are confident and comfortable when they're out meeting new people.

Then I took my eight week Dating Director workshop and packaged it into an eight week home study program called "The Role of a Lifetime".

If you want to jump start your next romantic relationship or self direct the one you're already in, I invite you to check it out!

I decided to write a blog because:

1. My client, friend and realtor, Dana Erlich, suggested it's a great marketing tool to support my on-line business.

2. I've been a slacker on writing my Dating Director newsletters, so I thought a blog would be a great place to share experiences and updates of what's happening in my life.

3. My scrapbooks are SO FAR behind (I still haven't finished my wedding album!), so I figure I can recap some of my travels and adventures in an edited, easy to share format.

4. I've always loved storytelling. I love hearing stories. I love telling stories, so here is a place I can!

I hope you enjoy the journey! :)